Can halal speed-dating work?

Divorce rates among British Muslims are on the rise in line with wider society. According to some Muslim commentators one in eight Muslim marriages now ends in divorce, up from one in 20 in the space of two generations, and increasing numbers of Muslims are seeking alternative avenues to meet their future spouses, without compromising their commitment to Islam. They want to meet members of the opposite sex in a halal environment, and no, I don't mean a date in the local branch of Dixie Fried Chicken.

So they go to Muslim matrimonial websites, "halal speed-dating" and face-to-face matrimonial events to find a husband or wife. Traditionally many second- and third-generation wife- or husband-hunters would expect family and their communities to introduce them to prospective life partners, many even travelling to their parents' country of origin to view future brides and grooms.

Mizam Raja is the Simon Cowell of the British Muslim matrimonial scene. Raja founded the social enterprise Islamic Circles 10 years ago in east London. Raja employs two part-time staff and receives on average 200 calls a day from men and women seeking his advice on how they can meet a compatible partner. Raja is charismatic, chatty and has an acid tongue that he uses to devastating effect in his day-to-day work. "I'm ruthless with some of them. I have no problem telling a man who has hygiene issues to go home, have a shower and shave and to really think about why he wants to get married and what he can offer his wife in a marriage. A successful Muslim marriage is about yin and yang complementing one another. Marriage in Islam is not about yin and yin."

Raja says British Muslims have failed to embrace the best aspects of modernity when it comes to marriage and as a result increasing numbers of highly educated Muslim women find themselves part of the "spinster generation" excelling in their academic and professional lives but left out in the cold when they try to find a husband.

Sociologist Fauzia Ahmad from the Institute for the Study of Muslim Civilisations (ISMC) specialises in Muslim women and relationships in Britain. She says Muslim parents and families are realising how difficult it is for their daughters to find suitable husbands and increasingly communities are realising their daughters are facing a backlash from within.

"Contrary to stereotypes, there has been a real drive for qualifications among Muslim women and their families, with one of the motivating factors being the assumption that a degree would help attract a 'good husband'," says Ahmad. "While this may be a criteria for many Muslim men, women are finding a mismatch in expectations from similarly educated men, many of whom seem to be intimidated by confident women and know that at the end of the day, their parents can always find them a wife 'back home'. British Muslim women are less likely to want to do the same. Instead, the initial 'checklist' or list of criteria that women used to have become increasingly shorter as the years go by."

Raja also agrees that Muslim women are facing challenges on the marriage front. "While I believe that many Muslim men are failing to step up to the plate and take responsibility when it comes to marriage, I've also met many women who talk down to men as if they are talking to a colleague or a client at work," he says.

In the past 10 years Raja has organised hundreds of workshop and gatherings for marriage introductions. The events cater for different Islamic sects, Sunnis and Shias, Muslims with disabilities and special needs – the organisation even runs courses for women on how they can become "surrendered wives". When I ask him if he's for real he is unapologetic in his response. "If you don't have a stable family, you can't have a stable community," he says. "The events we organise enable people to really work on themselves and think about what marriage is really about. Many of our sisters neglect the idea of marriage because they are too focused on their education or careers. Many find it difficult to compromise and hard to adapt to the role of being a wife alongside being a career woman."

Raja insists that these matrimonial events offer a more Islam-centric approach to marriage that can't be found through speed-dating or on matrimonial websites. "Our events are not a place to go shopping for a husband or wife but to fully understand what marriage means in Islam," says Raja.

On SingleMuslim.com, one of the most popular matrimonial websites used by Muslims surfing to find a partner, users are encouraged to believe they are a few clicks away from reaching their goal of meeting Mr or Mrs Right.

Salma, a divorced single mother in her late 20s used a matrimonial website for a year but has decide to deactivate her account and look at other ways of finding a suitable husband. In one year almost 400 men contacted her online from all over the world to discuss marriage.

"I realised very quickly that men and women were on the website with a shopping list trying to tick as many boxes as they could in as little time as possible and get married," she says. "A lot of men lie about how much money they have and most of the ones I came across claimed to earn in excess of £60,000 a year, but are unable to write a sentence in English. It just didn't make any sense."

Salma discovered some men were already married and looking to find wife number three and four without being upfront about it. "There is no real way of knowing who is genuine and who isn't. I even had some men contact me telling me to be aware of certain men on the website who were known liars. By trying to find a husband this way I felt like I was drawing a straw or trying to pick out a lucky number out of a hat – it felt like an illusion. In a traditional arranged marriage a woman or a man have the safety net of growing up in the same village, knowing each other's family for generations. For this reason I've decided to adopt a more organic approach to finding a partner and prefer to meet Muslim men chaperoned in an Islamic environment so we get to interact face to face."

source

Female Saudi doctor appeals to top court for right to choose a husband

Comment: Words cannot express how disgusted I am with these pathetic Unislamic Saudi 'guardians' and spineless patriarchal scholars...May Allah give these brave sisters justice and happiness.Amen.



Samia is a surgeon who, as she says, is "supposed to be a grandma by now."

But she's not even married yet. As with many women in Saudi Arabia, choosing a husband was not solely up to her. Her father and brothers demanded that she marry a cousin, and, she says, beat her when she refused. For the past five years, she has lived in a shelter for battered women.

"I'm a surgeon. I'm responsible for people's lives," says Samia, now in her 40s. "I want to be responsible for my own life."

Samia's situation, described in multiple interviews both in person and via phone and e-mail, is not unusual in Saudi Arabia. It illustrates how this country's guardianship system gives men almost complete control over female relatives, as well as how little recourse women have to escape abusive guardians. She has taken her case to two courts, which both ruled against her, and she and her lawyer now seek a hearing in the country's Supreme Court.

Under Islam, a woman has the right to choose her partner, provided he is morally upright.

But the guardianship system, which stems from tribal traditions and is deeply entrenched in Saudi Arabia's culture and legal system, requires women to get their guardians' permission to marry. Although many men respect their female relatives' wishes, others do not, despite warnings from Muslim leaders.

"Forcing a woman to marry someone she does not want and preventing her from wedding [the man] whom she chooses ... is not permissible," Grand Mufti Sheikh Abdul Aziz al-Asheikh, the kingdom's top religious authority, has said.

Samia's ordeal – and escape

Samia, who comes from the holy city of Medina, asked that her real name be withheld because Saudis consider it shameful to air family disputes in public. She says that her father insists she marry one of her male cousins, even though she loves none of them. They are all much younger and less educated than she is.

When Samia challenged her father, she was locked in her bedroom for weeks, she said, and beaten with a hose by her father and brothers. She keeps pictures of her bruises on her iPad.

Fearing for her life, she sought refuge in the government-run shelter where she still lives. She also filed a complaint against her father in a Medina court.

But like most Saudi judges, Ali Abdulaziz al-Sudais fervently believes in guardianship. In December 2009, he dismissed her case, describing her as a "disobedient" daughter who should see a psychiatrist "to help with her problem in being stubborn with her father and not listening to him because he knows what's best for her," according to his written ruling. An appeals court recently affirmed Mr. Sudais's ruling.

"This is an exceptional case," says her lawyer, Ahmed al-Sudairy, in an interview in his Jeddahoffice, noting that her father has also refused to let three other daughters – all in their early 30s – marry anyone but a cousin.

The money factor

Samia says her father also had taken her salary for years, leaving her just a small monthly allowance.

Money is often a motive for abusive guardians' behavior, says Hussein Nasser al-Sharif, manager of the Jeddah branch of the National Society for Human Rights, even though Islamic precepts stipulate that a woman's earnings are her own.

Sheikh Asheikh has said that "fathers who make it a condition to have their daughters' salaries before they give their consent for marriage are ... wrong."

He later sent a text message saying, "We are a respectable tribal family and this is a private family matter. Respect yourself and don't butt into our business."

Her defense

Mr. Sudairy, who took on the surgeon's case pro bono, says he presented the appeals court with affidavits of past suitors who had proposed marriage to Samia but were turned down by her father, even though some shared his tribal background.

He also submitted a summary of the consensus of Islamic religious scholars that the qualities to consider in a suitor are his manners and reputation, his ability to provide for a family, and a known family lineage, meaning that he should not have been born out of wedlock.

A woman is not legally independent under the guardianship system, however. If unmarried, her father (or, if he is deceased, another male relative – usually a brother or uncle) must give permission for her to travel abroad, accept employment, get certain types of medical care, go to university, and, in many cases, conduct business in government offices. If she is married, her husband is her guardian.

Women increasingly challenging abusive guardians

In its 2008 report "Perpetual Minors," New York-based Human Rights Watch called guardianship "the most significant impediment to the realization of women's rights in the kingdom."

Riyadh accepted a recommendation from the United Nations Human Rights Council in 2009 to abolish guardianship, but has not done so.

Increasingly, women are challenging abusive guardians in court, according to the National Society for Human Rights. Last year the society reported that 86 such cases had been filed in the previous five years.

Women are also using Facebook to campaign against fathers who refuse to let them marry. Hundreds joined a group called "Enough Adhl!" created last year by a female professor in her mid-30s whose father has rejected all her suitors. "Adhl" means a guardian's suppression of women's rights.

The professor, who uses the pseudonym Amal Saleh because she says her father threatened to harm her if she sought outside help, says in an interview that she wanted to encourage women to demand their rights.

"If we complain against our fathers, the first thing that will happen is they will imprison us, not let us go to our occupation, and they may hit us," says Ms. Saleh, who confides that she had contemplated suicide but ultimately decided it "is not a solution." The Saudi press has reported similar instances, including women who defied their fathers and had been locked in their rooms for weeks.

Cultural tradition trumps Islam

"I am like a horse" to my male relatives, Saleh adds. "They don't treat me as a human being. They treat me as if I belong to them, and they should decide what to do with this thing." Many women never complain because they believe they must obey their parents in all matters, she adds.

Unfortunately, says Saudi journalist Nassrin Najmadine, cultural tradition still trumps Islam.

"They say they are following Islam, but the truth is they do not. They do what society believes and thinks," she says.

The surgeon, who broke down in tears during interviews, says she is pressing her case for the sake of her sisters and "for all the girls who are treated like animals in the name of guardianship.

"It's not like I'm asking for a treasure. I'm just asking for my rights," she says. "I just want a normal life, to get married, have a child with a guy I chose."

source

British Actress Inspired by Prophet's Life: Myriam Francois-Cerrah Embraces Islam

I embraced Islam after graduating from Cambridge. Prior to that I was a skeptical Catholic; a believer in God but with a mistrust of organized religion.

The Qur’an was pivotal for me. I first tried to approach it in anger, as part of an attempt to prove my Muslim friend wrong. Later I began reading it with a more open mind.

The opening of Al Fatiha, with its address to the whole of mankind, psychologically stopped me in my tracks. It spoke of previous scriptures in a way which I both recognized, but also differed. It clarified many of the doubts I had about Christianity. It made me an adult as I suddenly realized that my destiny and my actions had consequences for which I alone would now be held responsible.

In a world governed by relativism, it outlined objective moral truths and the foundation of morality. As someone who’d always had a keen interest in philosophy, the Qur’an felt like the culmination of all of this philosophical cogitation. It combined Kant, Hume, Sartre and Aristotle. It somehow managed to address and answer the deep philosophical questions posed over centuries of human existence and answer its most fundamental one, ‘why are we here?’

In the Prophet Muhammad, I recognized a man who was tasked with a momentous mission, like his predecessors, Moses, Jesus and Abraham. I had to pick apart much of the Orientalist libel surrounding him in order to obtain accurate information, since the historical relativism which people apply to some degree when studying other historical figures, is often completely absent, in what is a clear attempt to disparage his person.

I think many of my close friends thought I was going through another phase and would emerge from the other side unscathed, not realizing that the change was much more profound. Some of my closest friends did their best to support me and understand my decisions. I have remained very close to some of my childhood friends and through them I recognize the universality of the Divine message, as God’s values shine through in the good deeds any human does, Muslim or not.

I have never seen my conversion as a ‘reaction’ against, or an opposition to my culture. In contrast, it was a validation of what I’ve always thought was praiseworthy, whilst being a guidance for areas in need of improvement. I also found many mosques not particularly welcoming and found the rules and protocol confusing and stressful. I did not immediately identify with the Muslim community. I found many things odd and many attitudes perplexing. The attention given to the outward over the inward continues to trouble me deeply.

There is a need for a confident, articulate British Muslim identity which can contribute to the discussions of our time. Islam is not meant to be an alien religion, we shouldn’t feel like we’ve lost all trace of ourselves. Islam is a validation of the good in us and a means to rectify the bad. Islam is about always having balance and I think the Prophet's (peace be upon him) message was fundamentally about having balance and equilibrium in all that we do.

The Prophet's message was always that you repel bad with good that you always respond to evil with good and always remember that God loves justice so even when people are committing serious injustices against you, you have a moral responsibility and a moral obligation in front of God to always uphold justice and never yourself transgress those limits.

Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) said: 'Forgive him who wrongs you. Join him who cuts you off. Do good to him who does evil to you and speak the truth even if it be against yourself.'

Islam's beauty really becomes to its own when it becomes manifest and it becomes manifest when you make it into a tool for the betterment of society, human kind and the world.

The ideal from an Islamic perspective is for ethics to become lived ethics, to become an applied body of values and not remain unfortunately as it often is cloistered in the mosque of somewhere which is some more divorced from reality.

Myriam Francois-Cerrah became popular when she was a child for acting in the 90's hit film 'Sense and Sensibility.' Now she is gaining more popularity for being one of a growing number of educated middle class female converts to Islam in Britain.

She has recently contributed to a series of videos on Islam produced in the UK titled (Inspired by Muhammad.)

Source

Fatwa: The Sacred Duty of Defending Jerusalem

As-salamu `alaykum. What is the legal ruling concerning giving up Jerusalem with all its Islamic and Christian holy shrines? Would Arabs and Muslims all around the world turn a blind eye to this crime if committed?

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear brother in Islam, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.

It is very important to note that the land of Islam is not for sale; it is not to be relinquished, and no damages can possibly make up for its loss. Therefore, it is incumbent on Muslims, wherever they may be, to shoulder their responsibility of defending Jerusalem and Al-Aqsa Mosque.

Elaborating more on this issue, the prominent Muslim scholar Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi states the following:

No Muslim, be he in authority or not, is allowed to abandon any of the lands of Muslims. The land of the Islamic world is not the property of any president, prince, minister or group of people. It is not up to anyone therefore to relinquish it under any circumstances.

Conversely, it is the duty of individuals and groups to strive hard to liberate occupied territories and retrieve usurped land. The entire nation is jointly responsible for that and it is not up to the ruler or his subjects to choose to give up the land. If a particular generation lapses in idleness or is incapable of shouldering the responsibility, it has no right to force its idleness or incapacity on all the coming generations up till Judgement Day, by giving up what it has no right to. Therefore, I have issued a Fatwa indicating that it is unlawful for all homeless Palestinian refugees to accept damages in return for their lost land, even if they amount to billions. The land of Islam is not for sale; it is not to be relinquished, and no damages can possibly make up for its loss.

If this is the ruling concerning any ordinary piece of land in an Islamic state, what will be the case with the holy land of Jerusalem, the land of the first of the two qiblahs and Al-Aqsa Mosque and the third most venerable city in Islam, after Makkah and Madinah? This land was the destination of Al-Israa' and the land from where Al-Mi`raj was launched. Nothing better explains its revered status than Allah's words, (Glory to (Allah) Who did take His servant for a journey by night from the sacred Mosque to the farthest Mosque, whose precincts We did bless, in order that We might show him some of Our Signs: for He is the One Who Heareth and Seeth (all things) ) (Al-Israa' 17:1).

Therefore, Jerusalem has come to enjoy a special place in the heart of every Muslim in the entire Arab world. The occupation of Jerusalem moves his heart and pains him, out of love, keenness and jealousy over it as well as his concern about it. It is mainly on account of Jerusalem that the Palestinian cause comes first on Muslims' list of priorities. It is Jerusalem that Muslims fear for and are keen to preserve, defend and fight for. It is for the sake of Jerusalem that they willingly give their lives and all they hold dear. Jerusalem is the symbol of the cause of Palestine. It is the backbone and the very core of the problem. True are the words of the poet who once said,

Palestine is meaningless with no Aqsa or Jerusalem.
Without Jerusalem, it is like a body with no head.

Jerusalem is not for the Palestinians only, but for all Muslims, be they Arabs or not. It is a city for all Arabs, be they Muslims or Christians. Therefore it is incumbent on Muslims, wherever they may be, to shoulder their responsibility of defending Jerusalem and Al-Aqsa Mosque. This is an obligation for them all. They are to jointly defend it, offering in the process their lives, their money and all they possess, or else they will be subject to Allah's punishment, for Allah says: (O ye who believe what is the matter with you, that when ye are asked to go forth in the cause of Allah, ye cling heavily to the earth? Do ye prefer the life of this world to the Hereafter? But little is the comfort of this life, as compared with the Hereafter) (At-Tawbah 9:38).

During my tours across the Arab world, many a time have I been asked by Muslim youth who would hide their heads in their hands and fervently crying, would ask, “How do we clear our conscience and shoulder the responsibility of defending Jerusalem?”

We have seen how the Arab world in its entirety was turned upside down when a Jewish fanatic attempted to burn Al-Aqsa Mosque in 1969. Muslims called on each other across the world. The first Islamic Summit was held, which in turn gave rise to the Islamic Conference Organization.

When the crusaders formerly occupied Jerusalem, it was liberated by non-Arab Muslims, like Turkish Emad Ed-Din Zinky and his son Nour Ed-Din Mahmoud Eshahid as well as his disciple, Kurdish Saladin Al-Ayoubi, who was able to regain Jerusalem from Christians. Muslims everywhere are still, as they have always been, ready to do all what they can in defense of Jerusalem. This is the case with all the nations I have visited, starting with the Philippines and Indonesia in the very East through Morocco in the Muslim West, though unfortunately this was not the temperament of Muslim rulers.

Jerusalem is an invaluable part of the homeland of Islam. For more than 14 centuries, Muslims have lived there. They have not usurped it from the Jews who had already ceased to live there hundreds of years before that. The Jews’ longest reign in Palestine lasted for only several hundred years, while Arabs and others have been there for thousands of years. The Christian patriarch of Jerusalem handed it to `Umar ibn Al Khattab. Among the patriarch's conditions was that no Jew should live there.

The sovereignty over Jerusalem, particularly East Jerusalem, must be Islamic, Arab, and Palestinian. This will not prevent any Jew or Christian from observing his religious rituals with the perfect freedom and tolerance which Islam has been famous for throughout the eras. The international legitimacy embodied in the Security Council resolutions assert that Jerusalem is part of the Arab lands occupied since 1967.

Hence, evidence based on history, religion and international law all jointly prove that Jerusalem belongs to the Palestinians. The crisis of Jerusalem should be the number one item on the agenda of the Islamic World.

Allah Almighty knows best.

source

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear brother in Islam, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.

It is very important to note that the land of Islam is not for sale; it is not to be relinquished, and no damages can possibly make up for its loss. Therefore, it is incumbent on Muslims, wherever they may be, to shoulder their responsibility of defending Jerusalem and Al-Aqsa Mosque.

Elaborating more on this issue, the prominent Muslim scholar Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi states the following:

No Muslim, be he in authority or not, is allowed to abandon any of the lands of Muslims. The land of the Islamic world is not the property of any president, prince, minister or group of people. It is not up to anyone therefore to relinquish it under any circumstances.

Conversely, it is the duty of individuals and groups to strive hard to liberate occupied territories and retrieve usurped land. The entire nation is jointly responsible for that and it is not up to the ruler or his subjects to choose to give up the land. If a particular generation lapses in idleness or is incapable of shouldering the responsibility, it has no right to force its idleness or incapacity on all the coming generations up till Judgement Day, by giving up what it has no right to. Therefore, I have issued a Fatwa indicating that it is unlawful for all homeless Palestinian refugees to accept damages in return for their lost land, even if they amount to billions. The land of Islam is not for sale; it is not to be relinquished, and no damages can possibly make up for its loss.

If this is the ruling concerning any ordinary piece of land in an Islamic state, what will be the case with the holy land of Jerusalem, the land of the first of the two qiblahs and Al-Aqsa Mosque and the third most venerable city in Islam, after Makkah and Madinah? This land was the destination of Al-Israa' and the land from where Al-Mi`raj was launched. Nothing better explains its revered status than Allah's words, (Glory to (Allah) Who did take His servant for a journey by night from the sacred Mosque to the farthest Mosque, whose precincts We did bless, in order that We might show him some of Our Signs: for He is the One Who Heareth and Seeth (all things) ) (Al-Israa' 17:1).

Therefore, Jerusalem has come to enjoy a special place in the heart of every Muslim in the entire Arab world. The occupation of Jerusalem moves his heart and pains him, out of love, keenness and jealousy over it as well as his concern about it. It is mainly on account of Jerusalem that the Palestinian cause comes first on Muslims' list of priorities. It is Jerusalem that Muslims fear for and are keen to preserve, defend and fight for. It is for the sake of Jerusalem that they willingly give their lives and all they hold dear. Jerusalem is the symbol of the cause of Palestine. It is the backbone and the very core of the problem. True are the words of the poet who once said,

Palestine is meaningless with no Aqsa or Jerusalem.
Without Jerusalem, it is like a body with no head.

Jerusalem is not for the Palestinians only, but for all Muslims, be they Arabs or not. It is a city for all Arabs, be they Muslims or Christians. Therefore it is incumbent on Muslims, wherever they may be, to shoulder their responsibility of defending Jerusalem and Al-Aqsa Mosque. This is an obligation for them all. They are to jointly defend it, offering in the process their lives, their money and all they possess, or else they will be subject to Allah's punishment, for Allah says: (O ye who believe what is the matter with you, that when ye are asked to go forth in the cause of Allah, ye cling heavily to the earth? Do ye prefer the life of this world to the Hereafter? But little is the comfort of this life, as compared with the Hereafter ) (At-Tawbah 9:38).

During my tours across the Arab world, many a time have I been asked by Muslim youth who would hide their heads in their hands and fervently crying, would ask, “How do we clear our conscience and shoulder the responsibility of defending Jerusalem?”

We have seen how the Arab world in its entirety was turned upside down when a Jewish fanatic attempted to burn Al-Aqsa Mosque in 1969. Muslims called on each other across the world. The first Islamic Summit was held, which in turn gave rise to the Islamic Conference Organization.

When the crusaders formerly occupied Jerusalem, it was liberated by non-Arab Muslims, like Turkish Emad Ed-Din Zinky and his son Nour Ed-Din Mahmoud Eshahid as well as his disciple, Kurdish Saladin Al-Ayoubi, who was able to regain Jerusalem from Christians. Muslims everywhere are still, as they have always been, ready to do all what they can in defense of Jerusalem. This is the case with all the nations I have visited, starting with the Philippines and Indonesia in the very East through Morocco in the Muslim West, though unfortunately this was not the temperament of Muslim rulers.

Jerusalem is an invaluable part of the homeland of Islam. For more than 14 centuries, Muslims have lived there. They have not usurped it from the Jews who had already ceased to live there hundreds of years before that. The Jews’ longest reign in Palestine lasted for only several hundred years, while Arabs and others have been there for thousands of years. The Christian patriarch of Jerusalem handed it to `Umar ibn Al Khattab. Among the patriarch's conditions was that no Jew should live there.

The sovereignty over Jerusalem, particularly East Jerusalem, must be Islamic, Arab, and Palestinian. This will not prevent any Jew or Christian from observing his religious rituals with the perfect freedom and tolerance which Islam has been famous for throughout the eras. The international legitimacy embodied in the Security Council resolutions assert that Jerusalem is part of the Arab lands occupied since 1967.

Hence, evidence based on history, religion and international law all jointly prove that Jerusalem belongs to the Palestinians. The crisis of Jerusalem should be the number one item on the agenda of the Islamic World.

Allah Almighty knows best.

British Islam: Does Britain have a problem with Muslims?

Excellent contributions by my 'shero' Salma Yaqoob. Its a shame two of the most unrepresentative British Muslims Taj Hargey and Majid Nawaz were also there but they said nothing of value anyway.

HADITHS OF THE DAY: SHOW MERCY TO OTHERS

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "God will not show mercy to a person who does not show mercy to other people." Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 20, Hadith 375 The Prophet also said: "(God) has mercy on those who are merciful. If you show mercy to those who are on the earth, He Who is in heaven will show mercy to you." Sunan of Abu-Dawood, Hadith 2322

Muslim women fight burqa ban in France

Mumtaz Kazi – Asia’s first woman diesel engine driver

Comment: What an amzing sister! Mashallah!

Behind every successful man there is a woman, they say. Who is behind a successful woman? There are thousands and thousands of women who have taken hurdles head-on and excelled in their life, and are now pride of the family, the society and the nation at large. In the league of such women of inspiration are many Muslim women. TwoCircles.net is presenting a Special Series on Women of Inspiration – Editor.

Mumtaz Kazi – Asia’s first woman diesel engine driver

Mumbai: Nation’s Pride and all along a supportive daughter, sister, wife and a caring mother. This is Mumtaz Kazi, the first woman diesel engine driver in Asia. Limca Book of Records, in its 1995 edition, has acknowledged her great success. Adding another feather to her cap is that she is the first train driver who has the skill of driving both Electric and Diesel engine.

In 1989, the change in the railway recruitment board policy in India enabled her to sit for the exam and she fared very well with the merits in all the exams right from written exams to Personal Interview. With the experience of nearly 20 years she is now serving the most crowded railways in the world the Mumbai Local.

Born and brought up in Mumbai, Mumtaz has seen many ups and downs in the life but it’s the family support that kept her moving.

Taught in Seth Anandilal Poddar High school, Mumtaz applied for the motorman job after her SSC in 1989. She got appointed in 1991 after the completion of her twelfth exam. But this was resisted by her father. “When I was selected my father, Allahrakhu Ismail Kathawala, who himself was in the Railways as the Trunk Superintendent at Churchgate railway station resisted and ask me to complete my DMLT course,” says Mumtaz in an interaction with TwoCicles.net.

But A.I. Kathawala, as her father was popularly known,was advised by his friends in railways and other relatives tried to convince him to allow Mumtaz join the job. “It’s the R.V. Raikar uncle, who was a close friend of my father, finally succeeded and convinced my father,” informs Mumtaz.

Mumtaz is not just successful in her profession but a very typical Indian woman. She is helpful, supportive and sacrificing for her family.

A.I. Kathawala called up when he came to know that a journalist is doing an interview with his daughter to tell about her contribution to his family. A.I. Kathawala said, “I am really proud of my daughter because she is not only successful in her profession but also because she changed the life of my family.”

A.I. Kathawala continued to praise her courageous daughter. He said it’s because of her support he was able to buy a home in Mumbai and was able to educate his two sons Imtiyaz and Feroz, both are engineer and now settled in Canada.

Feroz, brother of Mumtaz, called up from Toronto and shared the same feeling as of his father, “Our sister is the best and she made us what we are today.”

Now mother of two beautiful kids Tausif Ahmed, 8 and Fateen, 4, Mumtaz married to Maqsood Kazi, an electrical engineer from Nandoorbar, a district of Maharashtra near Gujarat border in 2002. Mumtaz’s family is originally Gujarat.

Maqsood, the proud husband of Mumtaz said: “She is a lovely housewife and very caring mother.” He added, “To take care of our kids Mumtaz did opt to leave the due promotion but Allah will give her the best reward.”

BBC had cast Mumtaz in their documentary on Indian Railways. Many news channels and newspapers have done stories on her on women days but she is very humble and a good friend. Mamta Kulkarni, the first woman Station Master in Central Railway, is a good friend and colleague of Mumtaz. She said, “Mumtaz has got Railways General Manager award, Divisional Railway Manager award and many more to come but she is very down to earth, very humble and such a good friend to have.”

Mumtaz is deadly against the female feticide and gender discrimination prevailing in our society. She said, “Female feticide is criminal, girl child must be allowed to born and people must let them learn whatever they like to without any discrimination and at par with the boys.”

What does Mumtaz think for her kids? “I am educating and bringing them up to be successful in both the world here and hereafter,” she said.

source.

HADITH OF THE DAY: NO RACIAL SUPERIORITY

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said to a companion: "You are not better than people (of other races) unless you excel them in piety." Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1361

My arranged marriage disaster

It was while recording a story about the impossibility of divorce for women in Afghanistan that Zarghuna Kargar decided she must find the strength to end her own arranged marriage. Brought up in Kabul and then Pakistan after her family fled from the Taliban, she was engaged at 16 to a distant relative she had never met and married in London after her family claimed asylum in Britain.

Trained by the BBC World Service's charitable arm in Pakistan, in London she became the presenter of Afghan Woman's Hour, a weekly magazine programme modelled on Radio 4's Woman's Hour that highlighted the terrible position of women in Afghan society. The show was a huge hit and was praised for its frank treatment of subjects including domestic violence and homosexuality.

But though her own family was educated and liberal, and her parents moved to the west partly for the benefit of their five daughters, an arranged marriage was expected and Zarghuna accepted that.

"I did have a lot of arguments with my parents during the engagement but it was something I had to do," she says. "I had to either be a good Afghan girl, who accepted whatever decision was made for me, or be a bad girl and leave. Breaking an engagement was a big thing and I got scared. So I decided, I'm a good Afghan girl, I'm going to do it the Afghan way. And we got married. The whole time it was a horrible feeling."

Now Zarghuna, who is 28 and known as Zari because some British people find the guttural "gh" sound difficult, has written about her miserable three-year marriage in her first book. Dear Zari is a heart-wrenching anthology of the personal stories broadcast on Afghan Woman's Hour. It includes appalling stories of abuse – of girls given away as household slaves to settle family feuds, of widows shunned, of wives blamed for giving birth to daughters.

Interwoven are intimate details of the author's life, including her wedding night. "God, please make sure I bleed; that's the only wish I have. I don't want money or a big house to live in – I just want this blood," was Kargar's prayer on the day of her marriage. Submitting to her husband, Javed, whom she did not like and hardly knew, and shaking uncontrollably, she spent the night weeping uncontrollably because the wished-for "proof" of her virginity did not materialise.

"As a result, my married life had begun with my husband failing to trust me," she writes. "Whenever he spoke unkindly to me after that, I thought it was because he didn't believe I'd been a virgin on my wedding night."

Unlike many of the Afghan marriages she describes, Kargar's relationship was not violent. She and Javed did not even argue that much, she says, because they were not that involved. "It was my destiny, but it wasn't a good feeling. He was about 25 – a young man – but when I met him it didn't really work for me in a girl way, or a woman way. I just didn't have any feelings and I think it was the same from his side. We were just put together by two families."

Kargar says that she tried to embrace her role as a wife, but they barely talked – she thinks partly because Javed envied her career. She hoped if he got a good job, the situation might improve, but instead she got lonelier and more convinced that their marriage was a disaster.

Her career flourished, as Afghan Woman's Hour achieved audience figures in the millions. But as her life became increasingly unhappy, Kargar found herself moved by the harrowing first-person stories featured on the programme to look again at her life. "I felt that discussing these kinds of women, their stories and the way they talked, and what they wanted, empowered me. I was feeling a kind of hypocrisy inside me because the experts I invited on the programme were giving all this advice, but I was not making decisions in my own life."

It was the story of Anesa, a woman married to a gay husband who moved his lover into the family home, that finally gave her the push she needed. For four years, Anesa said, she lived with her children, her husband and his lover. The lover was the favourite, while her sons were beaten and often went hungry. Yet she was unable to leave. Though Anesa's husband's homosexuality was frowned on by Afghan society, and his children victimised as a result, if she divorced him she would lose them. She often thought about killing herself.

In the office, Kargar and her World Service colleagues discussed divorce and the insurmountable problems facing women in Afghanistan who wished to leave their husbands. "And I was thinking, actually I have choice. I was educated, I had a good job and no children. I was capable of doing it and I had the support of the legal system."

In 2006, aged 24, and having lost all hope and respect for the relationship, she asked her husband to leave. At first he was angry, and tried with her parents to make her change her mind. But she stood her ground, and in the end the divorce papers came from him. He has since remarried.

Last year, the funding for Afghan Woman's Hour was cut, and Kargar transferred to the Afghan news service. The programme was not without its critics, as the money came from Foreign Office counter-terror funds, but Kargar is passionately proud of its role in promoting women's rights and freedoms.

When she arrived in the UK as an 18-year-old in August 2001, the September 11 attacks were still a month off. Ten years on, she supports the presence of foreign troops in Afghanistan and fears a return to even greater chaos. Her father, who was a government official during the Soviet invasion, and later worked as a writer on the World Service's Afghan soap opera, New Home New Life, now teaches Pashtun to British soldiers.

But while she was inspired by the young revolutionaries in Tahrir Square in Cairo, she is made uncomfortable by the celebrations in the west of the death of Osama bin Laden.

She kept her divorce secret from colleagues for two years after it happened, and is still working through her feelings about what happened, wiping away tears when she recalls her wedding. "I was just very upset, and very angry with everything. When they talked about the decorations, I said 'Just take the chairs from the kitchen! I don't care!' And I really didn't care. It was very difficult."

Her family hopes that she will remarry one day, and she says that although two of her sisters' arranged marriages have worked out well, her parents have decisively broken with the custom. She sees them every week and has forgiven them for her earlier unhappiness. They are proud of her book, she says – though she has been warned against publishing pictures of her relatives, including childhood photographs.

As a teenager in Peshawar, Pakistan, where women were more restricted than in 1980s Kabul, and she first became used to covering her head with a scarf, Kargar had no romantic or sexual experiences of any kind. "I was a very dull teenager, very quiet and isolated from boys," she says. "We were a girls family [five sisters, one brother] and in our culture, love stories are not really good stories to hear, so maybe those things had an effect. I didn't even understand that these feelings existed; I never even had a crush. It was weird."

What is disturbing in the book, and must surely be for many women in reality, is the way that such complete ignorance – even on her wedding night, in London, Zarghuna had no idea what to expect in the bedroom – is suddenly shocked out of them, as they are expected instantaneously to turn into adult women. One girl known to her family in Pakistan and mentioned in the book, offered in a marriage exchange at 11, died in childbirth after the book went to press – aged 13.

Now, with such innocence firmly behind her, Zarghuna is determined to make her own choices. She says the moment of her greatest strength was the decision not to have children with her husband when everyone around her encouraged it.

"I want to be a mother with somebody I love, and not just for the sake of my own happiness. I want to give proper happiness to my kid with a loving daddy if I can. But if that doesn't happen, then I'm happy the way I am."

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