Showing posts with label Manners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Manners. Show all posts

Tuesday, 24 September 2024

The Evils of Backbiting in Islam: A Grave Sin with Far-Reaching Consequences

 

Backbiting, or ghibah in Arabic, is a serious moral and spiritual offense in Islam. It is more than just a breach of trust or a failure in social conduct; it is a sin that can damage relationships, tarnish reputations, and harm the soul. In Islam, backbiting is condemned in the strongest terms, and its harmful effects ripple through personal lives, communities, and the individual's relationship with Allah.

What is Backbiting?
Backbiting refers to speaking ill about someone behind their back, sharing information or criticisms they would not want disclosed. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) defined backbiting clearly when he said:

"Do you know what backbiting is?" They said, "Allah and His Messenger know best." He said, "It is to mention something about your brother that he would dislike." It was said, "What if what I say about my brother is true?" He said, "If what you say is true, you have backbitten him; and if it is not true, you have slandered him." (Sahih Muslim)

This Hadith underscores the gravity of backbiting, even if what is said is accurate. The fact that the person would feel hurt by the words is enough to make it sinful. Moreover, slander, which involves falsehood, is an even graver offense, equating to spreading lies that damage someone’s dignity and honor.

The Quran’s Clear Condemnation
The Quran explicitly condemns backbiting, comparing it to one of the most repulsive actions a person could commit. Allah says in the Quran:

"O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful." (Surah Al-Hujurat 49:12)

This verse emphasizes the ugliness of backbiting by likening it to cannibalism, illustrating the repulsion a Muslim should feel towards this act. The metaphor of eating the flesh of a dead brother is striking, symbolizing how backbiting dehumanizes both the speaker and the victim.

The Spiritual Consequences
Backbiting not only damages interpersonal relationships, but it also harms one’s own spiritual standing. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) warned against the severity of this sin. In one narration, he said:

"Whoever protects the honor of his brother in his absence, Allah will protect his face from the Fire on the Day of Resurrection." (Tirmidhi)

This Hadith indicates the reward for those who avoid backbiting and, by extension, the punishment for those who engage in it. The act of backbiting strips away the spiritual protection a person has, leading to punishment in the Hereafter. Those who indulge in it not only risk the displeasure of Allah but also jeopardize their own salvation.

The Social Impact
Backbiting has a corrosive effect on society, breeding distrust and enmity. It sows discord among people, destroys friendships, and weakens the bonds of community. When backbiting becomes widespread, it cultivates an environment where everyone lives in fear of their reputation being attacked, creating a toxic atmosphere.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) stressed the importance of maintaining brotherhood and unity. He said:

"The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe." (Sahih al-Bukhari)

Thus, a Muslim's words should never cause harm to another person. Respecting the honor of fellow believers is central to Islamic ethics. Backbiting disrupts this ethical framework, leading to widespread mistrust and division.

How to Avoid Backbiting
It can sometimes be difficult to recognize when a conversation is crossing into backbiting, especially if the remarks seem harmless or justified. However, Muslims are encouraged to be vigilant in guarding their tongues and hearts. Here are a few practical steps to avoid falling into the trap of backbiting:

Mindfulness of Allah (Taqwa): Always remember that Allah is watching, and He hears every word spoken. Consciousness of Allah can help one restrain their tongue.

Change the Topic: If you find yourself or others engaging in backbiting, try to change the subject or gently remind everyone of the gravity of the sin.

Speak Positively or Remain Silent: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent." (Sahih al-Bukhari). Silence is preferable to words that harm.

Make Du'a for the Person: If you feel compelled to speak negatively about someone, stop yourself and instead make a supplication (du'a) for them. This will soften your heart and redirect your thoughts.

Repentance and Forgiveness
For those who have engaged in backbiting, it is crucial to seek Allah’s forgiveness and rectify the harm caused. Islam emphasizes both repentance (tawbah) and restitution in relationships. The victim of backbiting must be approached, and their forgiveness should be sought sincerely. In doing so, the person acknowledges their mistake and attempts to heal the wound they have inflicted.

Islam, in its mercy, always leaves the door open for those who sincerely seek to correct their actions. Allah is the Most Forgiving, and those who repent with sincerity can hope for His mercy.


Backbiting is more than a social misstep; it is a sin with profound spiritual, moral, and social consequences. Islam teaches Muslims to guard their tongues and honor the dignity of others. By avoiding backbiting, individuals not only protect their own souls but also contribute to a harmonious, trusting, and compassionate society. The best path is one of kindness, where Muslims are conscious of their words and work to foster love and unity within their communities.

Thursday, 15 August 2019

Hearts and Minds



 From FB of Shakh Yasir Qadhi:

Once, the Caliph `Umar saw a group of people around a campfire in the middle of the desert. Instead of calling out to them with the phrase, 'O people of the fire!', he chose, 'O people around a light,' to make sure that a potentially negative phrase didn't affect them.
At another time, the grandsons of the Prophet (salla Allah alayhi wa sallam) saw an old man performing wudhu, but making many mistakes. Instead of berating him, they went up to him and said, 'The two of us are arguing which one has the better wudhu, and we'd like you to be the judge between us.' When he saw how perfect their wudhu was, he said, 'It is my wudhu that needs to be corrected, not yours.'
A famous preacher of the last generation - during a time when there was a raging debate regarding the theological verdict of the one who abandons the prayer, is he a Muslim or not - was asked, "What is your opinion about the one who abandons the salat?" The person that asked him was not a scholar, but rather someone who listened to debates and liked to revel in his self-taught knowledge. The Shaykh smiled and said, "My opinion is that we should hold on to the hand of the one who abandons the salat and encourage him to come to the masjid with us!"
A lot of times, its not the message itself, but how you present it, that moves hearts and changes minds. And not every single controversy needs to be laid out in front of every single person: speaking to your audience correctly is half of knowledge.
May Allah grant us the wisdom to preach in the wisest and best of manners!

Thursday, 15 September 2016

I Love Muhammad (pbuh) But I Hate The Musalli Horse Stance


A correct kung fu horse stance with feet wide apart and a pole balanced across the thighs


The Prophet (pbuh) said that when Muslims stand for prayer, we must not leave any gaps between us otherwise Satan runs in those gaps during the prayer. But this must be put in context as the following anecdote illustrates.
A Saudi friend told me that one young man in his country adopted the Musalli Horse Stance in prayer. When an elderly man asked him why he was standing in prayer like that, the young man replied, “Because Shaytan (Satan) runs through the gaps.”
The elderly man replied to him, “My son, your feet are so wide apart that Shaytan will run under your legs if you are not careful.”
Good point. I have prayed next to people whose foot is pushing so hard on my foot that instead of thinking about my Lord the only thing I am thinking about during my prayer is which Accident and Emergency Department will have the shortest waiting times if this geezer fractures my foot.
Read entire blog My love and dua to my brother Babar Ahmad.

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Being Religious Without Being a Jerk

 
 
Religiosity often turns people into jerks.
Many have witnessed this story: A young man or woman who used to be friendly, well-mannered, who treated people well, sadly turns into someone who shows mild annoyance upon meeting people who follow a different religious opinion. He shows anger when presented with arguments against his or her own point of view. Finally, he or she begins to pronounce judgment against others—pronouncing minor differences in opinion as proofs of disbelief.
When told to calm down, to stop being judgmental—the response comes in one of many flavors:
  • “Brother, I am enjoining the good and forbidding the evil!”
  • “We are defending the Sunnah!”
  • “When people are harsh against the Sunnah, we will be harsh in defending it!”
And so on.
Over what kinds of issues? Not the serious lack of counseling services in the community. Not the difficulty that our youth are having in protecting their faith from intellectual attack. Not the issues of domestic abuse, poverty, family breakups or homelessness afflicting non-Muslims and Muslims around us.
But the length of our pants and whether or not they are above our ankles, the lengths of our beards, etc. Perhaps one’s adherence or lack thereof to a group or organization. What we think about pseudo-philosophical concepts about the essence of God’s attributes.  Such meanness and harshness occurs not over what is physically affecting people, but over a disagreement between opinions in our minds. Over varying textual interpretations that result in different legal opinions or a creedal points unknown to the majority of the world’s Muslims.
Why does this happen to us when almost nothing is more important in our religion than the subjugation of our egos to the Power and Oneness of God?

Friday, 20 February 2009

Beautiful Advice of the Prophet


Companion of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) , Khalid ibn El Waleed narrated the following:

A Bedouin came one day to the Prophet (pbuh) and said to him, "O, Messenger of God! I've come to ask you a few questions about the affairs of this life and the Hereafter. "

The Prophet (pbuh) responded Ask what you wish.

I'd like to be the most learned of men.
Fear God, and you will be the most learned of men.

I wish to be the richest man in the world.
Be contented, and you will be the richest man in the world.

I'd like to be the most just man.
Desire for others what you desire for yourself, and you will be the most just of men.

I want to be the best of men.
Do good to others and you will be the best of men.

I wish to be the most favored by God.
Engage much in God's praise, and you will be most favored by Him.

I'd like to complete my faith.
If you have good manners you will complete your faith.

I wish to be among those who do good.
Adore God as if you see Him. If you don't see Him, Know that He sees you. In this way you will be among those who do good.

I wish to be obedient to God.
If you observe God's commands you will be obedient.

I'd like to be free from all sins.
Bathe yourself from impurity and you will be free from all sins.

I'd like to be raised on the Day of Judgment in the light.
Don't wrong yourself or any other creature, and you will be raised on the Day of Judgment in the light.

I'd like God to bestow His mercy on me.
If you have mercy on yourself and on others, God will grant you mercy on the Day of Judgment.

I'd like my sins to be very few.
If you seek the forgiveness of God as much as you can, your sins will be very few.

I'd like to be the most honorable man.
If you do not complain to any fellow creature, you will be the most honorable of men.

I'd like to be the strongest of men.
If you put your trust in God, you will be the strongest of men.

I'd like to enlarge my provision.
If you keep yourself pure, God will enlarge your provision.

I'd like to be loved by God and His messenger.
If you love what God and His messenger love, you will be among their beloved ones.

I wish to be safe from God's wrath on the Day of Judgment.
If you do not lose your temper with any of your fellow creatures, you will be safe from the wrath of God on the Day of Judgment.

I'd like my prayers to be responded.
If you avoid forbidden actions your prayers will be responded.

I'd like God not to disgrace me on the Day of Judgment.
If you guard your chastity, God will not disgrace you on the Day of Judgment.

I'd like God to provide me with a protective covering on the Day of Judgment.
Do not uncover your fellow peoples faults, and God will provide you with a covering protection on the Day of Judgment.

What will save me from sins?
Tears, humility and illness.

What are the best deeds in the eyes of God?
Gentle manners, modesty and patience.

What are the worst evils in the eyes of God?
Hot temper and miserliness.

What alleviates the wrath of God in this life and in the Hereafter?
Concealed charity and kindness to relatives.

What extinguishes hell's fires on the Day of Judgment?
Patience in adversity and misfortunes.

Imam El Mustaghfiri said: "I have never heard a tradition more comprehensive of the beauties of religion, and more beneficial than this hadith. It collects all the good things of Islam but not put to use." (Related by Imam Ibn Hambal)

Via: IslamiCity