Finding Solace in Islam: Coping with the Loss of a Child

 

Losing a child is an unimaginable tragedy that can leave parents and families shattered with grief. Coping with such a profound loss requires immense strength, patience, and faith. In Islam, there are profound teachings and principles that offer solace and guidance to those grappling with the devastating loss of a child. Here's how Islamic advice can provide comfort and support during this difficult time:

Turn to Allah for Comfort:
In Islam, the belief in the divine decree (Qadr) is central. While grappling with the loss of a child is incredibly painful, turning to Allah for comfort and solace can provide a sense of peace amidst the turmoil of grief. Remember that Allah is Al-Rahman (the Most Compassionate) and Al-Rahim (the Most Merciful), and He understands your pain intimately.

Seek Patience Through Sabr:
Patience (Sabr) is a cornerstone of Islamic teachings, especially during times of adversity. The Quran emphasizes the importance of patience, stating, "And give good tidings to the patient" (Quran 2:155). Embrace Sabr as a means of coping with the loss of your child, knowing that Allah is with the patient.

Express Your Grief Through Dua:
Turn to the power of dua (supplication) as a means of expressing your grief and seeking solace from Allah. Pour out your heart in prayer, expressing your pain, sorrow, and longing for your child. Trust in the mercy of Allah to alleviate your suffering and grant you strength to navigate through this challenging time.

Find Comfort in the Promise of Jannah:
Islam offers the comforting belief in the promise of Jannah (Paradise), where believers are reunited with their loved ones in the afterlife. Take solace in the belief that your child is in the loving embrace of Allah, enjoying eternal bliss in Paradise. Keep the hope of reunion alive in your heart as you navigate through your grief.

Seek Support from the Community:
Surround yourself with a supportive community of family, friends, and fellow believers who can offer comfort, empathy, and prayers during this difficult time. Lean on the collective strength of your community as you navigate through the journey of grief and healing.

Honor Your Child's Memory:
Find healing in honoring the memory of your child through acts of charity (Sadaqah), dedicating Quranic recitations or prayers in their name, or engaging in righteous deeds on their behalf. Keeping their legacy alive through positive actions can provide a sense of connection and purpose amidst the pain of loss.

Seek Professional Support:
While seeking solace in Islamic teachings is essential, don't hesitate to seek professional counseling or therapy to address the psychological and emotional aspects of grief. Islam encourages seeking help from those with expertise in mental health to facilitate healing and recovery.

Embrace Moments of Gratitude:
Despite the overwhelming sorrow, try to find moments of gratitude for the time you shared with your child and the love you experienced together. Reflect on the blessings and cherished memories, finding comfort in the profound bond you shared.

Take One Day at a Time:
Grieving the loss of a child is a deeply personal journey, and there is no timetable for healing. Take each day as it comes, allowing yourself to feel and process your emotions at your own pace. Be gentle with yourself and trust that healing is a gradual process.

Trust in Allah's Plan:
Above all, maintain trust in Allah's plan, knowing that He is Al-Hakeem (the Most Wise) and Al-Mujeeb (the Responsive). Even in the depths of grief, hold onto the belief that Allah's mercy and wisdom encompass every aspect of your life, including the loss of your child.

In conclusion, coping with the loss of a child in Islam involves finding solace in the teachings of faith, seeking support from the community, and embracing the journey of grief with patience and trust in Allah's plan. While the pain of loss may never fully fade, may Allah grant you strength, comfort, and healing as you navigate through this profound journey of grief and remembrance.

God Conscious Parenting – Abdallah Rothman

My Child Has Wandered off the Straight Path

 

I’ll admit it. I used to be complacent. A decade ago, my children were young and happily attending Islamic school. They were memorizing Qur’an, socializing with other Muslim kids, and willingly joining us for salat in our home and activities in the masjid. In those days when I would hear about a Muslim teen in our community who had started dressing immodestly. . . or one who had been caught with a boyfriend or girlfriend behind the school. . . or one who consistently skipped prayers . . . I thought, alhamdullilah my kids are not like that.

If I’m being completely honest, deep down inside I also sometimes thought, What did their parents do wrong to get such a misguided child? This assumption, of course, implied that I was doing something right. That my children’s current acquiescence to the rules of their faith was my doing. That my husband and I could take all the credit for their innocence and love of Islam.

So often in life we find that the very thing we judge others for – the thing we smugly think could never happen to us – will come back to bite us. And in my case, sadly, it did.

My daughter wore hijab until she was seventeen. Then one day she removed it, not with hesitance or regret, but with grim determination. In retrospect, I guess I should have seen it coming. She had been dropping hints for a long time. She had cried about the tactless and hurtful comments about her Islamic dress that she’d heard from non-Muslim peers and complete strangers. She had complained numerous times about the inconvenience of wearing modest swimwear at the beach because all the material weighed her down, and she felt she looked like a “freak” amongst her bikini-clad contemporaries. She had argued countless times that Muslim men had it easy: they could blend in with Western society and wear almost anything they wanted. They usually did not face the same harassment that Muslim women did. No matter how many times I tried to explain the reasoning behind Islamic rulings, remind her of Allah’s wisdom and love, and encourage her devotion to her faith, my words increasingly fell on deaf ears.

Still, the fact remains that I was surprised and heartbroken when my daughter decided to remove her hijab. Even more concerning, her faith started slipping away bit by bit – missed prayer by missed prayer – over the subsequent months. I tried many times to change her mind, but ultimately, I felt powerless to stop the downward spiral. At this point, my intelligent, strong-willed daughter was listening only to her peers, social media influencers, and even the books she read in school. All of these made her feel like her faith was a prison that she needed to escape.

I was a teen once. I remember the allure of the “freedom,” “independence” and “glamor” that the world promises to individuals who follow their whims and desires. I realize that as an adult, it is far easier to embrace modesty, humility, and submission to God; but for many adolescents in the modern world, adhering to Islam can indeed feel like grasping a burning coal, as our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) predicted.

Eventually, due to my daughter’s deviation from the Straight Path, I realized that my children’s guidance was not in my hands. Yes, I have a responsibility to do my best to be a good Islamic role model and teacher, but my efforts are not necessarily enough to secure my children’s hearts to Allah. Only He SWT can guide, and He is the Turner of Hearts. “Verily, you [O Muhammad] guide not whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He knows best those who are the guided” (Quran 28:56).

I grieved privately for months. Finally, I hesitantly opened up to some close Muslim friends about my experience. I was immensely relieved when they confessed similar stories: many of them also had teens who were struggling to practice, or barely practicing, or not practicing at all. Of course, I was not happy to hear this news, but I admit it gave me some solace to know I wasn’t alone. Those parents,my friends and contemporaries, were excellent Muslims. They prayed and worshiped as a family, led a wholesome life, set a good example, and invested in Islamic schools, homeschooling, and Qur’an lessons. And yet, many of their teenagers had still drifted from their deen. It was a tragedy, yes, but clearly, it wasn’t entirely the fault of us parents.

Talking with other moms, I also realized that the Muslim community’s reaction to misguided youth is, generally, very unhelpful. The teens feel so judged and unaccepted that they stop attending Islamic events and start avoiding practicing Muslims altogether. One friend’s daughter noticed that when she stopped wearing hijab, some of the “aunties” who had known and loved her for years were suddenly cold and distant. In part, I can’t blame them. They were probably saddened to see a young woman abandon an important act of worship. Perhaps they were even worried that she would influence their daughters and encourage them to stop dressing modestly. I don’t entirely fault them, but I do know the community’s rejection hurts teens deeply and pushes them even farther away from the deen.

Whether you can relate to my situation or not, if you are a Muslim parent, I have some words of advice. These are words from a distraught mother whose own child has wandered off the Straight Path and whose constant prayer is for her child’s repentance.

Don’t get complacent. If your young children are enthusiastically practicing their faith, that is wonderful. But do not mistake that for a guarantee of future adherence. No matter how much they seem to love Islam now, still make dua for your children’s guidance on a daily basis. Their faith will likely be tested in the teen years, and peer pressure is perhaps worse than ever because of social media.
Never be arrogant if your children are “good Muslims.” If they love Islam, and if they continue on the Straight Path, it is a blessing from Allah, not a bragging right.
Don’t condemn people silently or, even worse, backbite them verbally. We know that speaking badly about someone is like “eating the flesh of your brother,” according to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
Keep in mind: we never know who might stray from the Straight Path. It could be me, or you, or any of our children. We all must work continuously to maintain and strengthen our faith. Even the Prophet (s) who was the most perfect human and the most beloved by Allah SWT, continually made the dua: “O Turner of Hearts, keep my heart firm on your deen.” If the Prophet (s) supplicated Allah SWT to help him keep his faith strong, who are we to be complacent about our iman?!
Supplicate for any wayward child. The best thing you can do for a youngster who has stopped practicing is to make sincere dua for them. Do it with compassion, sincerity, and humility. Know that each prayer we make for another person is answered by an angel saying, “And the same to you.” By making heartfelt dua for another child, then, we are also protecting our own, insha’Allah.
Continue to treat them like your brother or sister in faith. Even though they might not look or act like a “proper” Muslim right now, they still have a seed of iman in them, insha’Allah. We do not know what lies in another person’s heart. Errant Muslims still deserve our kindness. Indeed, perhaps because of their precarious situation, they need even more of it.

Be supportive of that child’s parents. Do not treat them differently, nor presume that their child’s behavior is their fault. Remember that some of the strongest Muslims of all time had family members who did not embrace Islam. Prophet Nuh had one son who remained a disbeliever, refused to board the ark, and eventually drowned. Even Prophet Mohammad (s), whose beautiful example inspired countless individuals to accept Islam, could not convince his uncle Abu Talib to acknowledge the truth.
Guidance is in the hands of Allah SWT, and a person’s current behavior does not necessarily reflect the quality of their upbringing. Remember that many forces are working against Muslim parents’ best intentions. Keep in mind that teen rebellion is a common – if not justified –phenomenon.
Do not assume this is the end of their story! Insha’Allah their period of disobedience, rebellion, and confusion will end, by the grace of Allah. Insha’Allah their parents’ fervent du’as will be answered, and these children will repent and turn back to the Straight Path. Perhaps today’s misguided teen will become tomorrow’s pious adult who knows exactly how to reach confused Muslim youth because she has been in their shoes. There is always hope, insha’Allah, and a believer is always optimistic about Allah’s mercy and guidance.

May Allah SWT guide our children, forgive our shortcomings, and protect our ummah from anything that turns us away from His love and forgiveness. Ameen. 

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Dua for our children

 

Dear Allah,  

When I complain of my child, remind me of the test that Adam and Hawa عليه السلام faced when Qabil killed Habil,
When I complain of my child, remind me of Nuh عليه السلام as he watched his child die in the waters when Allah ﷻ sent the floods,
When I complain of my child, remind me of Hud عليه السلام whose son refused to believe in Allah and remained with the non believers,
When I complain of my child, remind me of Ibrahim عليه السلام who was asked to leave Ismail عليه السلام as a newborn infant on the burning sands between Mount Safa and Mount Marwah,
When I complain of my child, remind me of when You ﷻ commanded Ibrahim عليه السلام to sacrifice his only son after almost 100 years, for Your pleasure,
When I complain of my child, remind me of Yaqub عليه السلام whose sons left Yusuf عليه السلام to die in a well, yet Yaqub عليه السلام held on to the belief that his son was still alive,
When I complain of my child, remind me of the mother of Musa عليه السلام, who was commanded to place her newborn baby in a bassinet and in the dangerous waters of the river Nile,
When I complain of my child, remind me of our mother Maryam  عليه السلام, who gave birth to Isa عليه السلام alone under a date tree,
When I complain of my child, remind me of our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ who buried all of his beloved children in his lifetime, with the exception of Fatimah  ‎ رضي الله عنه ,
When I complain of my child, remind me that until today there are people who are struggling to conceive.

🤲 Ya Hayyu Ya Qayyum, my child is an Amanah that you have blessed me with. I am grateful for this blessing, and I pray every single day that this Amanat will be the coolness of my eyes, as well as a bearer of the pillars of Islam.
Ya Allah bless my sisters who are praying for children with pious, healthy and beautiful children.
Ya Allah answer the prayer of every mother/guardian/parent for her child.
Allahumma ameen! 

Bless our Children

 

 Dear Allah,  

When I complain of my child, remind me of the test that Adam and Hawa عليه السلام faced when Qabil killed Habil,

When I complain of my child, remind me of Nuh عليه السلام as he watched his child die in the waters when Allah ﷻ sent the floods,

When I complain of my child, remind me of Hud عليه السلام whose son refused to believe in Allah and remained with the non believers,

When I complain of my child, remind me of Ibrahim عليه السلام who was asked to leave Ismail عليه السلام as a newborn infant on the burning sands between Mount Safa and Mount Marwah,
When I complain of my child, remind me of when You ﷻ commanded Ibrahim عليه السلام to sacrifice his only son after almost 100 years, for Your pleasure,
When I complain of my child, remind me of Yaqub عليه السلام whose sons left Yusuf عليه السلام to die in a well, yet Yaqub عليه السلام held on to the belief that his son was still alive,
When I complain of my child, remind me of the mother of Musa عليه السلام, who was commanded to place her newborn baby in a bassinet and in the dangerous waters of the river Nile,
When I complain of my child, remind me of our mother Maryam  عليه السلام, who gave birth to Isa عليه السلام alone under a date tree,

When I complain of my child, remind me of our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ who buried all of his beloved children in his lifetime, with the exception of Fatimah  ‎ رضي الله عنه ,
When I complain of my child, remind me that until today there are people who are struggling to conceive.
🤲 Ya Hayyu Ya Qayyum, my child is an Amanah that you have blessed me with. I am grateful for this blessing, and I pray every single day that this Amanat will be the coolness of my eyes, as well as a bearer of the pillars of Islam. 

Ya Allah bless my sisters who are praying for children with pious, healthy and beautiful children.
Ya Allah answer the prayer of every mother for her child.
Allahumma ameen!

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Follow the Sunnah of the greatest Step-father!

I have never heard this topic mentioned in a khutbah or taught about in seerah classes I have attended. This is such a shame, over the years so many brothers I have known simply refuse spouses because they do not want the hassle of another mans children. AstaghfiruAllah! But are very happy to follow the Sunnah and marry second wives ....this needs to addressed!

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An aspect of RasulAllah (sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam)'s life that very few people even think about is that he was a stepfather - a man who raised the children his wife had from her previous marriage.

Many cultures warn men against marrying widows or divorcees with children; insinuations are made that she could never be truly devoted to her new husband if she has her own children to care for. A bizarre, unhealthy rivalry is set up between the woman's child and her new husband.

When the Messenger of Allah (sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam) sent a proposal of marriage to Umm Salamah (radhiAllahu 'anha), she told him, "I am a woman with many children!" His response was, "And I am a man with children as well. Your children will be mine."

Umm Salamah had several children by her previous husband, Abu Salamah (radhiAllahu 'anhu), who had died from his war injuries. She was either pregnant, or had just given birth to her daughter Zaynab, when her husband died.

Zaynab bint Abi Salamah (radhiAllahu 'anha) thus grew up with RasulAllah as the only father she truly knew. He, in turn, loved her as his own child. When RasulAllah would come to Umm Salamah's house, he would immediately ask for young Zaynab; he would play with her often.

Zaynab's uncle, Ammar, used to say, "She was the one who has come between RasulAllah and the rest of his family!" - meaning that he would spend a great deal of time with her.

Zaynab bint Abi Salamah (radhiAllahu 'anha) grew up to narrate many ahadith, in particular from her mother and from the other wives of RasulAllah (sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam). She also became known as a great jurist of Madinah, and was referred to as the most knowledgeable woman of her time.

From The Salafi Feminist

Pakistan's Lost Children

That Single Line of Blood: Nassir al-Mosabeh and Mohammed al-Durrah

As the frail body of 12-year-old Nassir Al-Mosabeh fell to the ground on Friday, September 28, history was repeating itself in a most tragic way.

Little Nassir was not just another number, a 'martyr' to be exalted by equally poor refugees in Gaza, or vilified by Israel and its tireless hasbara machine. He was much more than that.

The stream of blood that poured out from his head wound on that terrible afternoon drew a line in time that travel back 18 years.

Almost 18-years to the day separates Nassir's recent murder and the Israeli army killing of Mohammed Al-Durrah, also 12, on September 30, 2000. Between these dates, hundreds of Palestinian children have perished in similar ways.

Reports by the rights’ group, B’tselem, are rife with statistics: 954 Palestinian children were killed between the Second Intifada in 2000 and Israel's war on Gaza, the so-called Operation Cast Lead in 2008. In the latter war alone, 345 child were reportedly killed, in addition to another 367 child fatalities reported in Israel’s latest war, ‘Protective Edge’ of 2014.

But Mohammed and Nassir - and thousands like them - are not mere numbers; they have more in common than simply being the ill-fated victims of trigger-happy Israeli soldiers.

In that single line of blood that links Nassir al-Mosabeh and Mohammed al-Durrah, there is a narrative so compelling, yet often neglected. The two 12-year-old boys looked so much alike - small, handsome, dark skinned refugees, whose families were driven from villages that were destroyed in 1948 to make room for today’s Israel.

Young as they were, both were victims of that reality. Mohammed, died while crouching by the side of his father, Jamal, as he beseeched the Israelis to stop shooting. 18 years later, Nassir walked with thousands of his peers to the fence separating besieged Gaza from Israel, stared at the face of the snipers and chanted for a free Palestine.

Between the two boys, the entire history of Palestine can be written, not only that of victimization and violence, but also of steadfastness and honor, passed from one generation to the next.

“Who will carry on with the dream,” were the words Nassir’s mother repeated, as she held a photograph of her son and wept. In the photo, Nassir is seen carrying his school bag, and a small bottle of rubbing alcohol near the fence separating Gaza and Israel.

“The dream” is a reference to the fact that Nassir wanted to be a doctor, thus his enthusiasm to help his two sisters, Dua’a and Islam, two medical volunteers at the fence.

His job was to carry the alcohol bottle and, sometimes, oxygen masks, as his sisters would rush to help the wounded, many of them Nassir’s age or even younger.

In a recent video message, the young boy - who had just celebrated the achievement of memorizing the entire Holy Quran - demonstrated in impeccable classical Arabic why a smile can be considered an act of charity.

Protesting the Israeli siege and the injustice of life in Gaza was a family affair, and Nassir played his role. His innovation of taping raw onions to his own face to counter the tears induced by the Israeli army tear gas garnered him much recognition among the protesters, who have been rallying against the siege since March 30.

So far, nearly 200 unarmed protesters have been killed while demanding an end to the 11-year long blockade and also to call for the ‘Right of Return’ for Palestinian refugees.

Nassir was the 34th child to be killed in cold-blood since the protests commenced, and will unlikely be the last to die.

Palestinian Children and Israeli Discourse
When Mohammed al-Durrah was killed 18 years ago, the images of his father trying to shield his son’s body from Israeli bullets with his bare hands, left millions around the world speechless. The video, which was aired by France 2, left many with a sense of helplessness but, perhaps, the hope that the publicity that Mohammed’s televised murder had received could possibly shame Israel into ending its policy of targeting children.

Alas, that was never the case. After initially taking responsibility for killing Mohammed, a bogus Israeli army investigation concluded that the killing of Mohammed was a hoax, that Palestinians were to blame, that the France 2 journalist who shot the video was part of a conspiracy to ‘delegitimize Israel’.

Many were shocked by the degree of Israeli hubris, and the brazenness of their mouth- pieces around the western world who repeated such falsehood without any regard for morality or, even, common sense. But the Israeli discourse itself has been part of an ongoing war on Palestinian children.

Israeli and Zionist propagandists have long claimed that Palestinians teach their children to hate Jews.

The likes of Elliott Abrahms raged against Palestinian textbooks for "teaching children to value terrorism." “That is not the way to prepare children for peace,” he wrote last year.

In July the Israeli army claimed that Palestinian children deliberately “lure IDF troops”, by staging fake riots, thus forcing them into violent confrontations.

The US-Israeli propaganda has not just targeted Palestinian fighters or factions, but has done its utmost to dehumanize, thus justify, the murder of Palestinian children as well.

“Children as young as 8 turned into bombers, shooters, stabbers,” reported one Adam Kredo in the Washington Free Beacon, citing a “new report on child terrorists and their enablers.”

This is not simply bad journalism, but part of a calculated Israeli campaign aimed at preemptively justifying the killing of children such as Nassir and Mohammed, and thousands like them.

It is that same ominous discourse that resulted in the call for genocide made by none other than Israel's Justice Minister, Ayelet Shaked, where she also called on the slaughter of Palestinian mothers who give birth to "little snakes."

The killing of Nassir and Mohammed should not then be viewed in the context of military operations gone awry, but in the inhuman official and media discourses that do not differentiate between a resistance fighter carrying a gun or a child carrying an onion and an oxygen mask.

Nor should we forget that Nassir al-Mosabeh and Mohammed al-Durrah are chapters in the same book, with an overlapping narrative that makes their story, although 18 years apart, one and the same.



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Interesting video series on Muslim Scientists

• Alhazen or Alhacen or ibn al-Haytham (965–1039 CE) - Episode 1, 2 & 3
• Alpharabius or Al-Farabi or Abū Naṣr Muḥammad ibn Muḥammad Al Fārābī (872 - 950 CE) - Episode 4 & 5
• Avicenna or Ibn Sini or Abū ʿAlī al-Ḥusayn ibn ʿAbd Allāh ibn Sīnā (980 - 1037 CE) - Episode 6, 7, 8, 9 & 10
• Al-Biruni or Abū Rayḥān Muḥammad ibn Aḥmad Al-Bīrūnī (973 - 1048 CE) - Episode 11, 12, 13, 14 & 15
• Ibn Al Bitar or Ibn al-Bayṭār or Ḍiyāʾ Al-Dīn Abū Muḥammad ʿAbdllāh Ibn Aḥmad al-Mālaqī (1197 - 1248 CE) - Episode 16, 17 & 18
• Abu Bakr Al Razi or Abū Bakr Muhammad ibn Zakariyyā al-Rāzī (854–925 CE) - Episode 19, 20 & 21
• Al Khwarizmi or Algoritmi or Muḥammad ibn Mūsā al-Khwārizmī (780 - 850 CE) - Episode 22, 23 & 24
• Ibn al-Nafis or Ala-al-din abu Al-Hassan Ali ibn Abi-Hazm al-Qarshi al-Dimashqi (1213 - 1288 CE) - Episode 25, 26 & 27
• Jabir ibn Hayyan or Geber or Abu Mūsā Jābir ibn Hayyān (721 - 815 CE) - Episode 29, 29 & 30

Police are dealing with hundreds of hate crimes aimed at children

NSPCC CEO Peter Wanless said: “It’s heartbreaking to think that some children are targeted by bullies because of their race, culture or nationality. Racist jokes and negative stereotyping can be hurtful and leave young people feeling isolated and ashamed of who they are or where they are from.

“Our Understand Me campaign aims to reach out to all children who are experiencing racial or faith based bullying and make sure they know that they are not alone. No child should suffer in silence and anyone being targeted must be supported to tell someone and ask for help.”

Dame Esther Rantzen, President of Childline said: “Bullying of any kind is vile, but targeting someone because of the colour of their skin, religious beliefs or their accent is simply unacceptable. Children are taking on board prejudices around race and religion in society and trading them as playground insults, with extremely harmful results.

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Yasmin Mogahed on divorce and step-children

It’s ironic. Over the years, our community has absorbed a lot of cultural toxicity and called it Islam. One example of this poison is in how we define the value of a woman. We’ve, of course, absorbed the notion that a woman’s value is defined by her appearance; but we’ve also absorbed another toxic notion that has no basis in Islam. That is the notion that when a woman has been previously married, her value decreases. This notion has come due to a combination of many un-Islamic views:

1. Un-Islamic Myth: ‘Divorce is a sin or curse.’ This is an un-Islamic belief from other religions that hold divorce to be forbidden or sinful. Some pagan rituals even expected widows to burn themselves to death after their husbands died. The underlying belief being that a woman is defined by her husband. Therefore, becoming single after marriage is akin to dying. Sadly, we see some by-products of this barbaric belief in our own communities such as looking down on divorced women and even considering widows to be “cursed” or “bad luck” to have around.

Islamic stance: Divorce is not a sin or curse. The majority of the women our Prophet (pbuh) married, including Khadijah (RA), were divorced or widowed. These are the mothers of the believers and the best of women. For example, Umm Salamah declined a proposal from both Omar (RA) and Abu Bakr (RA) as soon as her waiting period was over. In our Deen, the value of a woman is no way diminished by being previously married. This poisonous notion came from un-Islamic and Pagan cultures. Not Islam.

2. Un-Islamic Myth: ‘Those are another man’s children.’
Islamic stance: When our Prophet (pbuh) proposed to Umm Salamah (RA), she said: “O Messenger of Allah! It is not because I do not want you, but I am very jealous, and I fear that you might experience some wrong mannerism from me for which Allah would punish me. I am old and have children.” The Prophet (pbuh) replied in the authentic narration:
«أمَّا مَا ذَكَرْتِ مِنَ الْغَيْرَةِ فَسَوْفَ يُذْهِبُهَا اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ عَنْكِ، وَأَمَّا مَا ذَكَرْتِ مِنَ السِّنِّ فَقَدْ أَصَابَنِي مِثْلُ الَّذِي أَصَابَكِ، وَأَمَّا مَا ذَكَرْتِ مِنَ الْعِيَالِ فَإِنَّمَا عِيَالُكِ عِيَالِي»

“As for the jealousy that you mentioned, Allah the Exalted will remove it from you. As for your being old as you mentioned, I have suffered what you have suffered. And as for your having children, they are my children too.”

Deeds after death?

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “When the human being dies, his deeds come to an end except for three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who prays for him.” (Muslim)

The more I think about this, and face the daily challenges of fatherhood the more I realize the last of the three mentioned here is the most difficult to attain.

'I know they are going to die.' This foster father takes in only terminally ill children

The Bzeeks opened their Azusa home to dozens of children. They taught classes on foster parenting — and how to handle a child’s illness and death — at community colleges. Dawn Bzeek was such a highly regarded foster mother that her name appeared on statewide task forces for improving foster care alongside doctors and policymakers. 

Bzeek started caring for foster children with Dawn in 1989, he said. Often, the children were ill.

Mohamed Bzeek first experienced the death of a foster child in 1991. She was the child of a farm worker who was pregnant when she breathed in toxic pesticides sprayed by crop dusters. She was born with a spinal disorder, wore a full body cast and wasn’t yet a year old when she died on July 4, 1991, as the Bzeeks prepared dinner.

“This one hurt me so badly when she died,” Bzeek said, glancing at a photograph of a tiny girl in a frilly white dress, lying in a coffin surrounded by yellow flowers. 

By the mid-1990s, the Bzeeks decided to specifically care for terminally ill children who had do-not-resuscitate orders because no one else would take them in.

There was the boy with short-gut syndrome who was admitted to the hospital 167 times in his eight-year life. He could never eat solid food, but the Bzeeks would sit him at the dinner table, with his own empty plate and spoon, so he could sit with them as a family. 

There was the girl with the same brain condition as Bzeek’s current foster daughter, who lived for eight days after they brought her home. She was so tiny that when she died a doll maker made an outfit for her funeral. Bzeek carried her coffin in his hands like a shoe box.

“The key is, you have to love them like your own,” Bzeek said recently. “I know they are sick. I know they are going to die. I do my best as a human being and leave the rest to God.” 

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Dalia Khalifa: Gaza's 'unbreakable' girl

Nine-year old Dalia Khalifa was in the living room of her family home in the Zaytoun district of the besieged Gaza Strip when an Israeli strike hit their house during last summer's Operation Protective Edge.

On the dawn of 1 August, 2014, she was rushed to Gaza's Shifa Hospital, where other members of her family – and many compatriots – were being treated.

Covered in blood and unable to open her eyes, with her younger sister clinging to her crying out "I love you," she wasn't aware where she was and what her surroundings were until she gradually recovered.

Her story was narrated by Mohammed Asad, a photojournalist from Gaza, who happened to be in the same hospital documenting civilian casualties of Israel's military offensive.

"When I saw her, the image of the Afghan girl Sharbat Gula came to my mind," Asad told MEE, in a reference to the famous photo by Steve McCurry published in the National Geographic.

Asad took a photo of Dalia on 9 August, 2014, noting that despite the shrapnel wounds to her face, she did not cry. The name given to the photo was "Assiyat al-Damea," which translates to "the one who does not cry easily". The English name given to the photo was simply "unbreakable".

The photo has recently become the Grand Jury Winner in a photography competition organised by the United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs in the Middle East and North Africa (OCHA).

Asad met Dalia again on Tuesday, taking new photos of her with family and classmates.

"She is still strong-willed today," said Asad, adding that her question to the Israelis remains: "What have we done to you to deserve this?"

Her mother, Um Zuhair, and father, Rizk, recalled to Asad the events of that tragic night.

"A tank-shell fell on our house at around 3am without any prior warning. We were all sleeping in the middle of the house and the will of God dictated that we'd all survive," she said.

"But the children had been injured and the neighbours came to their aid and took them to hospital," she added.

Dalia's father said that while some of the traces of shrapnel on her face are vanishing, her body remains riddled with shrapnel scars. What's worse, he added, is the more serious medical case of her younger sister Remas, whose skull was injured as a result of the Israeli strike.

Both girls need medical attention as well as cosmetic surgery, but the shut borders with Egypt and Israel means that they can't travel to receive treatment in Turkey nor receive specialist doctors who are willing to travel to the besieged Gaza Strip.

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Street School Gives Working Kids Education In Pakistan

In Israel, only Jewish blood shocks anyone

Terror is always Palestinian, even when hundreds of Palestinian civilians are killed. The name and face of Daniel Tragerman, the Israeli boy killed by mortar fire during Operation Protective Edge, were known throughout the world; even U.S. President Barack Obama knew his name. Can anyone name one child from Gaza among the hundreds killed?

A few hours after the attack in Jerusalem, journalist Emily Amrousi said at a conference in Eilat that the life of a single Jewish child was more important to her than the lives of thousands of Palestinian children. The audience’s response was clearly favorable; I think there was even some applause.

Afterward Amrousi tried to explain that she was referring to the way the Israeli media should cover events, which is only slightly less serious. This was during a discussion on the ridiculous question: “Is the Israeli media leftist?” Almost no one protested Amrousi’s remarks and the session continued as if nothing had happened. Amrousi’s words reflect Israel’s mood in 2014: Only Jewish blood elicits shock.

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The Prophet’s Compassion for Children

 

Children are a great blessing from Allah. With their tender hearts, children can be molded into righteous people only with a positive and tender approach. Islam considers children to be an amanah (trust) given to the family and says it is fard(obligatory) for the family to raise a child in a righteous manner. One should not favor one child over another. In Islam, both male and female children should be treated equally and should be loved and cherished. The children have certain rights over their parents; it is the family’s obligation to shelter, feed, clothe, educate, support, nurture, and love them.

In today’s world many parents are so immersed in worldly life that they forget to pay attention to their children. Many parents think that providing financial support for their child is enough. The fact is, financial support alone doesn’t fulfill a parent’s duty towards their child. One can only win a child’s heart through love and a gentle attitude. It is the child’s right to be loved and cherished.

I remember that, as a child, I yearned for the attention of my family, but being in a joint family—my family and my uncle’s family lived together and a few other cousins stayed with us as their parents were working abroad—did not give me the opportunity to experience the kind of attention I expected. My parents felt that they should not express their love for their children in front of others, as people might think they were favoring us. As a child (and even now), I heard people saying “We need not to express our love to prove that it is there, it is enough to have a loving heart.” But the fact is that only when one expresses love to a child will the child feel more confident and stronger. Children have the capacity to easily distinguish when there is a difference in the attitude of the adults. Whether an adult shows or does not show love will have a significant impact on a child. Hence, we adults have to be conscious with our behavior in the child’s presence and be constantly aware of the emotions we project to our children.

Nowadays, we see people have become hardhearted so that their attitude towards children is unpleasant. There are some who show much partiality toward one gender, and there are some who don’t treat others’ children with the same kindness or affection which they show to their own children. It is common to see even people who claim that they act on the Qur’an and Sunnah showing less interest in playing with their children or giving them the due attention or expression of love.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is the model for the whole of humankind. His attitude towards children was always compassionate and merciful. Being fond of children, Prophet Muhammad showed great interest in playing with them. His involvement in children’s games shows us the great importance in playing with our children. He would have fun with the children who had come back from Abyssinia and tried to speak in Abyssinian with them. It was his practice to give lifts on his camel to children when he returned from journeys.

Prophet Muhammad never held back his love for the children and always expressed his fondness to them. In one hadith Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated:

I went along with Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) at a time during the day but he did not talk to me and I did not talk to him until he reached the market of Banu Qainuqa`. He came back to the tent of Fatimah and said, “Is the little chap (meaning Al-Hasan) there?” We were under the impression that his mother had detained him in order to bathe him and dress him and garland him with sweet garland. Not much time had passed that he (Al-Hasan) came running until both of them embraced each other, thereupon Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “O Allah, I love him; love him and love one who loves him.” (Muslim)

Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him), the servant of the Prophet, had another recollection:

I never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). His son Ibrahim was in the care of a wet nurse in the hills around Madinah. He would go there, and we would go with him, and he would enter the house, pick up his son and kiss him, then come back. (Muslim)

The Prophet’s love for children was not restricted to his children and grandchildren. The scope of his mercy and affection embraced all children, and he showed the same interest and gentleness to his Companion’s children. The following hadith narrated by Usamah ibn Zaid (may Allah be pleased with him) shows this humane aspect of the Prophet’s personality:

Allah’s Messenger used to put me on (one of) his thighs and put Al-Hasan ibn `Ali on his other thigh, and then embrace us and say, “O Allah! Please be merciful to them, as I am merciful to them.” (Bukhari)

Some people who were not able to understand the power of expressing love to children wondered why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) played with children and took such an interest in them. Narrated Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him),

Allah’s Messenger kissed Al-Hasan ibn `Ali while Al-Aqra` ibn Habis At-Tamim was sitting with him . Al-Aqra` said, “I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.” The Prophet cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” (Al-Bukhari)

The Prophet was always concerned about everyone’s thought and feeling. The following hadith narrated by Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) proves his thoughtful character:

The Prophet said, “(It happens that) I start the prayer intending to prolong it, but on hearing the cries of a child, I shorten the prayer because I know that the cries of the child will incite its mother’s passions.” (Al-Bukhari)

The Prophet was always patient and considerate with children and took great pain not to hurt their tender feelings.

Narrated Abu Qatadah: “The Messenger of Allah came towards us while carrying Umamah the daughter of Abi Al-`As (Prophet’s granddaughter) over his shoulder. He prayed, and when he wanted to bow, he put her down, and when he stood up he lifted her up.” (Al-Bukhari)

In a another hadith,

Narrated Umm Khalid: I (the daughter of Khalid ibn Said) went to Allah’s Messenger with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt. Allah’s Messenger said, “Sanah, Sanah!” (`Abdullah, the narrator, said that sanah meant “good” in the Ethiopian language). I then started playing with the seal of prophethood (between the Prophet’s shoulders) and my father rebuked me harshly for that. Allah’s Messenger said, “Leave her.” The Prophet, then, invoked Allah to grant her a long life thrice. (Al-Bukhari)

In another narration we see the Prophet’s tolerance towards children.

Narrated `A’ishah: The Prophet took a child in his lap … and then the child urinated on him, so he asked for water and poured it over the place of the urine. (Al-Bukhari)

Finally I would like to add another saying of the Prophet that proves that Muslims should be conscious to treat their sons and daughters justly:

“Fear Allah and treat your children [small or grown] fairly (with equal justice).” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

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Unlawful killing of two Palestinian teens outside Ofer

Where is the concern for Palestinian children and their safety? Where is the social media campaign for #stopkillingourboys?

This shocking video shows the unprovoked, cold-blooded killings of two Palestinian teenagers, 17-year-old Nadim Siam Nuwara, and 16-year-old Muhammad Mahmoud Odeh Abu al-Thahir on 15 May near Ofer military prison in the occupied West Bank city of Beitunia.

Both boys were fatally shot with live ammunition. The video was obtained by Defence for Children International - Palestine Section (DCI-Palestine) which sent the following description to The Electronic Intifada:

The CCTV footage was captured by cameras mounted on the building where the incident took place, which is owned by Fakher Zayed.

“The images captured on video show unlawful killings where neither child presented a direct and immediate threat to life at the time of their shooting,” said Rifat Kassis, executive director of DCI-Palestine. “These acts by Israeli soldiers may amount to war crimes, and the Israeli authorities must conduct serious, impartial, and thorough investigations to hold the perpetrators accountable for their crimes.”

Nadim Siam Nuwara, 17, sustained a fatal gunshot wound to the chest. Muhammad Mahmoud Odeh Abu al-Thahir, 16, sustained a fatal gunshot wound to the back.

The boys were participating in a demonstration near Ofer military prison to mark Nakba Day and express solidarity with hunger striking prisoners currently held in administrative detention by Israel. The demonstration reportedly began peacefully and then turned violent when Israeli forces clashed with Palestinian youth.

The deaths on Thursday raise the number of Palestinian children killed by Israeli forces in 2014 to four, according to data collected by DCI-Palestine. Over 1,400 Palestinian children have been killed as a result of Israeli military and settler presence in the Occupied Palestinian Territory since 2000.

The Israeli military’s own regulations dictate that live ammunition must be used “only under circumstances of real mortal danger,” but the regulations are not enforced and frequently ignored by Israeli soldiers, according to research by DCI-Palestine.

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