Showing posts with label Contraception. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Contraception. Show all posts

Thursday, 26 October 2017

Stop Calling Women Selfish For Choosing Birth Control

EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE A GOOGLE GYNECOLOGIST INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON THEMSELVES.
It really kills me how Muslims can be so judgmental. And I’m not saying that ‘other’ people aren’t. Trust me, they are, but because I’m very much so Muslim, we’re going to speak about that demographic right now.
Do you know how I know that the “haram police” is so judgy? I used to be on its payroll. I was the girl who still maintained her virginity past the age of 13, never took off my hijab, never dated…smoked weed. Ha! Heck no. Weed was wack. And, if you smoked it you clearly were destined to dwell within the fiery pits of hell.
We grew up in a family where my mother only fed us halal meats, read the Holy Book to us when we woke up and right before we went to sleep (yup, the devil had to be creeping somewhere in the closet), and disbarred watching anything over a PG-13 rating–even that was pushing it. We had to close our eyes if there were kissing scenes, and she’d fast forward any music with curse words in it. A man dressed in women’s clothing on TV? She’d turn it off completely. Magazines with Britney Spears in short-shorts were a no-no. She bought us magazines like National Geographic instead, stating they were more “educational.”
DO YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW THAT THE “HARAM POLICE” IS SO JUDGY? I USED TO BE ON ITS PAYROLL. 
When I turned 19, I moved out. Her world had become overbearing and controlling.
Society had quickly let me know that the world was not as it was back at home and that judgmental shit had to be tossed immediately if I were to make it.
Although I was out of Mom’s house, I still hung around a lot of Muslims and their parents. Their parents were judgmental in the wrong kinds of ways. Most of the parents were hypercritical when it came to other people’s kids, specifically their daughters. If they had a son, they could basically be spotted in a strip club making it rain on someone’s ass and it’d be given 99 excuses plus one. But, let it be a daughter and she’s damned to hell forever.
Of course, this mindset trickled down to the Muslim children. They ranged from middle-grade judgy to Muslim-parent judgy.
Shortly after moving out on my own, I went to the doctor and requested birth control. I knew for a fact that I didn’t want to have a trillion kids like a lot of the Muslim women had in the community. Most of those women hadn’t held a job, were overly-dependent on their cheating ass husbands to pay the bills, hadn’t had anything past a high-school diploma (if that). They weren’t traveling to faraway lands or experiencing the wonders of life. Many of them became career mothers, usually pregnant every other year.
MOST OF THE PARENTS WERE HYPERCRITICAL WHEN IT CAME TO OTHER PEOPLE’S KIDS, SPECIFICALLY THEIR DAUGHTERS.
Cheers to people who loooooooove having buckets of kids…but that just wasn’t me.
My friends and I were chatting on the couch and pregnancy came up. Someone had gotten pregnant. Again.
“I’m 99.9 percent sure that I’m covered,” I joked.
“What do you mean?” Someone asked.
“Well, I’m on birth control now.”
By the facial expressions, you’d think I just tossed a cat out the window.
I got everything from “That’s not permissible in Islam” and ‘That’s unnatural” to “You won’t ever be able to have a child” and “That’s what women are made for.”
I sat there and took the verbal abuse because that’s exactly what it was. Why was I selfish because I wanted to take control of my body? I mean, God gave me MY body. It wasn’t theirs or my then-husband’s to control. So why were they so adamant on policing my reproductive system in the name of Islam?
WHY WAS I SELFISH BECAUSE I WANTED TO TAKE CONTROL OF MY BODY?
Years passed and I was still unwaveringly on birth control. I’d get asked, “Why don’t you have any kids yet?”
My usual responses: because I don’t want to be a mom or I have no money or I’m pursuing an education.

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Family planning and Islam



MANY people, especially women, have asked me if family planning is permissible in Islam. They say the imams and ulema say the Quran prohibits family planning and quote a verse which says, “And kill not your children for fear of poverty — We provide for them and for you. Surely the killing of them is a great wrong” (17:31).

In no way does this verse refer to family planning because it is talking of ‘killing’ and you kill one who exists. No law in the world will permit killing one who is already born and hence the Quran rightly condemns the killing of children. Some people suggest that the verse in question refers to the practice of burying girl children alive and when asked they would say they could not provide for them and hence Allah responds that He provides for them.

Imam Razi suggests the verse refers to both male and female children being kept ignorant. Thus killing them has not been used as in killing the body but the mind which is as bad as killing the body. The word used here is ‘awlad’ i.e. children, which includes both male and female.

Imam Razi’s suggestion seems to be quite reasonable and in fact a large family means children cannot be properly educated by poor parents and hence parents ‘kill’ them mentally by keeping them ignorant.

They cannot even clothe them properly nor can they provide proper living space. In such circumstances one cannot raise quality human beings, and quantity does not matter much. That said, we should understand that at the time of the revelation of the Quran, the problem of family planning did not exist, nor did the need for population control.

It is a modern problem which has arisen in our time. Most nation states in the developing world do not have the economic means to support large populations, and when we say supporting large populations it does not mean only feeding them but also includes education and the provision of proper health services. These are the basic duties of modern nation states.

In fact, in view of the paucity of resources, it has become necessary to adopt family planning. When the Quran was being revealed there was neither any properly organised state nor education nor health services being provided by a state agency.
It is important to note that the Quran, which shows eight ways to spend zakat, does not include education or health which is so essential for the state to provide today. Thus what Imam Razi suggests is not only very correct but also enhances the importance of family planning in modern times as a small family can support better education and health services.

It would be interesting to note that as for verse 4:3 (which is used by Muslims for justification of polygamy) Imam Shafi’i interprets it rather differently. It ends with the words alla ta’ulu, which is generally translated as ‘you may not do injustice’ i.e. do not marry more than one woman so that you may not do injustice. But Imam Shafi’i renders it as ‘so that you do not have a large family’. The Quran has already mentioned that ‘if you fear injustice then marry only one’ woman and so there was no need to repeat it. That is why Imam Shafi’i feels it should be translated as ‘so that you do not have a large family’.

It can be seen that in understanding the Quran even very eminent imams and great scholars differed with one another. One should not impose one single meaning of a verse on all Muslims. The Quran could be interpreted differently by different people in their own context and circumstances, as has historically been the practice. Family planning being a modern need, one should not reject it out of hand and quote Quranic verses out of context.

Family planning does not mean killing children after they are born but to plan the birth of children in a way that parents can bear all the expenses for their education, health, living space, upkeep, etc. in a proper manner. The Quran also suggests that a child be suckled for two years, and it is well known that as long as the mother suckles she may not conceive. Thus, indirectly, the Quran suggests spacing between children.

In hadith literature, we find that the Prophet (PBUH) permitted prevention of conceiving in certain circumstances. When a person asked the Prophet for permission for ‘azl (withdrawal) as he was going for a long journey along with his wife and he did not wish his wife to conceive, the Messenger of Allah allowed him. In those days this was the only known method for planning the birth of a child. Today there are several more methods available.

Imam Ghazali allows even termination of pregnancy if the mother’s life is in danger and suggests several methods for termination. He even allows termination of pregnancy on health grounds or if the mother’s beauty is in danger, provided it is in consultation with her husband. Some scholars referring to the verse 23:14 conclude that one can terminate pregnancy up to three months after conception as the Quran, in this verse, describes the stages of development of the sperm planted in the mother’s womb; it takes three months for life to begin.

However, many ulema today oppose the termination of pregnancy. Whatever the case one cannot declare family planning as prohibited in Islam as it in no way amounts to killing a child. Even the termination of a pregnancy is allowed in order to properly plan the birth of a child according to one’s financial resources.

source

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

In Pakistan, Birth Control And Religion Clash




In Pakistan, family planning is an uncomfortable topic fraught with religious overtones.

But in one of Asia's fastest-growing populations, a story of women giving birth challenges stereotypes, including what Islam has to say about women's health and family planning.

According to a new government survey, Pakistan is producing nearly 4 million babies every year, and most are born into poverty. The World Bank says 60 percent of Pakistanis live on less than $2 a day.

Yet clerics in religiously conservative Pakistan tell the Muslim majority that the Quran instructs women to keep bearing as many babies as possible. The message from the mullahs is that contraception is generally haram, or a sin.

'Family Planning Is Wrong'

Mohammad Zakaria, the mufti of Lahore's oldest Islamic religious school, Jamia Islamia, says modern family planning is a Western convention that offends Islam.

"Family planning is wrong and un-Islamic if it is practiced routinely," he says. "If it permanently stops a woman from becoming pregnant, it is harmful and illegal."

But a woman can temporarily put off becoming pregnant. The mufti says the Quran encourages mothers to space their pregnancies and to breast-feed their babies for prolonged periods. One verse states: "Mothers shall nurse their children two complete years for whoever desires to complete the nursing term."

If a new pregnancy would interfere with breast-feeding and the health of a nursing child, Islam allows a woman to temporarily stop having babies. The mufti says during that period Islam can be interpreted to mean the man may also use condoms and the rhythm method.

Zakaria says being poor should in no way limit having babies. Referencing the Quran, he says, "God will provide the resources and no one will starve."

"There are clear instructions in the Holy Quran, in which Allah says, 'We give you food, and we will also give food to your children. Food is not your responsibility, but God's,' " he says.

The mufti says the Quran also instructs that children must not be deprived of a proper upbringing. However, in Pakistan 38 percent of all children under 5 are underweight, and according to government data, malnutrition is widespread among mothers. The lack of resources in Pakistan today invites the question whether the mufti and his teachings are not consigning millions of people to misery.

The mufti answers: "Every society has its own value system. You should not judge us by yours. Children in the West lead a luxurious life. Earth is their heaven. Our children should not be compared with them," the mufti says. "Muslims don't pay much heed to the mundane pleasures of this world. Our reward will come in the next life."

The mufti adds that the West has taken modern contraception too far by removing the fear of getting pregnant and therefore removing women's sexual inhibitions. In Pakistan, "if a woman's fear is removed," says the mufti, she will stray into bad behavior "and offend God."

A 'Tragedy': Lack Of Education

Seventy percent of married women in Pakistan, according to the government, use no birth control method at all. And the government is ineffectual in promoting family planning, says Dr. Yasmin Raashid, a leader in obstetrics and gynecology in Pakistan. But she says if properly followed, the Quran's teachings about spacing pregnancies would automatically mean smaller families.

"And [ages] 20 to 30, of course, is the safest time to produce children," she says. "If you look at it, then, if you have a spacing between of let's say four years or three years between each child, they would not be producing more than three or four children."

Raashid says more than anything else illiteracy undermines family planning in Pakistan.

"Educated mothers limit their families. There's no problem," she says. "The tragedy in our country has been that the majority of women in Pakistan are not educated."

Raashid says educating young girls is the single best policy for reducing the country's high fertility rate and for achieving smaller, healthier families. She sites Sri Lanka where the literacy rate is 91 percent. There the fertility rate — or the average number of children a woman has in her lifetime — is 2.3, compared with Pakistan, where it is 3.9. In Pakistan, infant mortality is nearly six times as high as in Sri Lanka — a smaller, poorer country.

"And the only thing that you see different there is that women are educated there," Raashid says. "They know about their rights. They know what has to be done where their children are concerned. They know what to do where their own health is concerned. You educate the women of Pakistan and we would have the same results."

How To Reduce Maternal Deaths


In Pakistan, less than 1 percent of GDP is spent on health care. Government hospitals lack qualified staff and medicine. Private hospitals like the United Christian Hospital in Lahore, where Raashid is the chief physician, are underfunded. In her hospital nursery, soap is scarce. But a newborn baby boy, with a shock of black hair, does have the benefit of an incubator where he lies sleeping.

He's one of the fortunate few who could take advantage of being born inside a hospital, which is not the case for most children in Pakistan.

It's estimated that at least 70 percent of Pakistani children are born at home, many without a skilled birthing attendant. The result is that 12,000 mothers die in childbirth in Pakistan each year. To save more mothers, Raashid says, Pakistan must invest in more midwives.

"You really don't need hi-fi doctors everywhere," she says. "You need proper-trained midwives. Skilled birth attendants working in the villages — I mean skilled women — can go and deliver the patients at home. And at the moment we have only 25 percent of women being delivered by skilled birth attendants."

Raashid leaves the room to see a patient and perform an abortion.

In Islam, there is no strict, unanimous ban on abortion, but Muslim jurists agree that it is forbidden after the fetus is completely formed and has been given a soul. Islamic theologians differ on when that happens: The Hanafi School of Islamic law prevalent in Pakistan is among the least restrictive. It says the soul is deemed to come into the fetus at four months, and so up to four months, abortion may be induced for "good cause."

But Raashid says abortion has become a dangerous form of birth control as women submit themselves to unskilled practitioners.

"I know definitely that there is a very large number of women who die because of abortion-related complications," she says. "It's the fifth-leading cause of maternal death in Pakistan because of the infections related to incomplete abortions and septic abortions."

Pressure To Make More Babies

Raashid's hospital deploys female health care workers who go door to door counseling expectant mothers in neonatal care and family planning. They work the narrow warrens of distressed and dilapidated neighborhoods of Lahore. In one congested lane, children fight, toddlers frolic, and proud parents stand in doorways showing off their infants to a stranger. The pressure on women to keep producing babies is obvious.

Rani and Tariq, a young couple with seven children, are a case in point. The pair sits on a large bed in their three-room home with cranky babies splayed around them in the stifling heat.

Erum Ahktar, the health care worker, tells wife Rani about the importance of keeping her children healthy. In a barely audible voice, the diminutive mother with huge brown eyes says that she herself is sick — and that she wants to stop having babies, and told her husband so.

Rani says she had five sons in a row, but her husband wanted a daughter, so they had a sixth child — the hoped-for baby girl. But her husband, Tariq, who has held only sporadic jobs, wanted a second daughter. And Rani got pregnant again — and again. Now in her mid-20s, Rani is expecting her eighth baby. Tariq explains that he was obsessed with having daughters in a country obsessed with having sons because he came from a family of all boys and felt deprived with no sisters.

When pressed, Tariq acknowledges that he has compromised his wife's health. He says he understands how people could think he was irresponsible. He says has now gotten the daughter that he wants, and is reconciled with that.

"I've committed mistakes," Tariq says, adding, in this day and age "it is tough enough to raise two children," let alone the seven he has with another one on the way.

The Atypical Family

Three hundred miles away, the roles are reversed for another young couple.

Their village of Poukai, in Pakistan's North-West Frontier, is an impoverished place where children cool off in the dirty water of a local canal, their livestock swimming alongside them.

In their home shared with 12 relatives, 25-year-old Khasrat and her husband, Qadar Gul, are expecting their fourth child. Khasrat says she never went to school and cannot the read the Quran, but she listens to the clerics' sermons carried over loudspeakers equating contraception with sin, a restrictive interpretation of Islam that allows few choices in family planning. Khasrat is feeling unwell with undiagnosed pelvic pain. She is 8 1/2 months pregnant.

"I am the one who insisted on another boy," she says. "It was my husband who wanted to stop at three."

Qadar Gul is worried about his wife's health and about feeding more mouths — he's injured and cannot work. He is also atypical because unlike a lot of the men here, he does not reject family planning. He practiced abstinence, but his wife insisted that she wanted her older son to have a little brother.

He says he thought about the consequences of having more children. "We are poor," he says. He's unhappy with his housing, saying there's not enough room. He told his wife this, he says, but she persevered. And his wife said, "Let it be God's will."

This faithful Muslim man struggles to respect both his clerics' commands not to use contraception and his desire not to father more children. It's a deeply personal choice, with profound implications for his family — and that choice writ large has profound implications for the nation.

source