Wednesday 7 September 2022

"I don't need a man" culture


Most unmarried Muslim women aren't adopting "I don't need a man" culture, what we have learned and adopted is "I don't need a boy that needs to be raised" culture.
We are looking for men that can lead. Qawwam.
Many Muslim women are looking for strong men who can lead them, who can financially provide for them and their children and who truly fear and love Allah.
Few sisters have even shared that they will happily give up their day jobs if they find a man who can truly lead, protect and provide for them - financial security and emotional stability. Men who can communicate, who won't call it quits when going gets tough, men who believe in marital counselling, men who do justice, men who are teachable, men who move with rehma instead of being mini dictators and abusers at home. 

This idea that women are giving up marriage to earn money is false.
They haven't found a brother who is emotionally and financially intelligent to lead. Who isn't obsessed with feminist shaming, obsessed with gender issues, who isn't fragile to differences of opinions and at the very basic offers 5 daily Salaah.
Muslim women are just looking out for themselves in the meanwhile and pursuing their goals and independence. They have realised single life on deen is better than getting married to brothers who aren't what they are looking for.

Getting married is very easy, getting married to the right person who will understand you, who will bring you closer to Allah and who will be with you atleast 80% of the time is a challenge.
Getting married to the right person who won't abuse you, harm you emotionally and spiritually and drive you away from your deen and Allah Himself is very difficult.
Very few men/women out there, who are serious about their obligations and their fear of Allah with regards to their spouse. Others are just using each other for halal sex but their love, compassion and sincere good intentions for each other are dead.
Ofcourse before we talk about finding the right spouse it is also important to remember to learn and become the right spouse for someone else.

Expecting women to lower standards needs to stop. Please. 🙂
Don't expect obedience and respect when you cannot lead and protect.
🤲 May Allah renew love, taqwa, compassion and care in the hearts of married Muslim men and women for His sake and remove selfishness and self serving attitude from their hearts Ameen ya rabbi.

From Ideal Muslimah

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