The Qur’anic Commandment
The importance of respecting one’s parents is mentioned multiple times in the Qur’an, emphasizing it right after the duty of worshiping Allah. One of the most well-known verses in this regard is found in Surah Al-Isra:
"And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], 'uff,' and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word." (Qur’an 17:23)
This verse demonstrates that kindness to parents is a priority after the worship of Allah, underscoring its immense significance. The smallest display of frustration or disrespect, such as saying “uff” (a minor expression of annoyance), is prohibited in Islam. Instead, Muslims are commanded to speak to their parents with love, compassion, and respect.
Hadiths on Respecting Parents
The sayings of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) further elaborate on the high status parents hold in Islam. In a famous hadith, the Prophet was asked who is most deserving of good companionship. He responded:
"Your mother."
The questioner asked, "Then who?"
The Prophet replied, "Your mother."
The man asked again, "Then who?"
The Prophet again replied, "Your mother."
When the man asked for the fourth time, the Prophet said, "Your father." (Bukhari and Muslim)
This hadith clearly illustrates the elevated position of the mother in Islam, deserving three times more consideration than even the father. It highlights the hardships and sacrifices mothers undergo during pregnancy, childbirth, and upbringing.
The Rewards of Honoring Parents
Honoring one’s parents is an act that brings great rewards both in this world and the hereafter. One of the most significant benefits is the pleasure of Allah. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
“The pleasure of Allah lies in the pleasure of one’s parents, and the anger of Allah lies in the anger of one’s parents.” (Tirmidhi)
By pleasing our parents, we earn Allah’s blessings, and by displeasing them, we risk His wrath. Additionally, caring for one’s parents, especially in their old age, is considered one of the best forms of worship. It is an opportunity to repay them for the love and support they have provided throughout life.
Practical Ways to Show Respect to Parents
Respecting parents in Islam goes beyond verbal expressions. It includes physical, emotional, and financial support, especially when they grow older and become more dependent. Here are some practical ways Muslims can honor their parents:
Listen to Them: Being attentive to their needs, opinions, and stories shows that you value them and their experiences.
Care for Them: As parents age, they may need assistance in daily tasks or medical care. Providing for them in their time of need is a form of worship.
Make Du’a for Them: Constantly praying for their well-being, both in this world and the hereafter, is a way to express love and gratitude.
Seek Their Blessings: In Islam, the supplications of parents for their children are considered powerful. Seeking their advice and blessings is not only a way to respect them but also a source of guidance and barakah (blessings).
Speak Kindly and Gently: Even in moments of disagreement, it is essential to maintain a tone of respect and kindness, avoiding harsh words or gestures.
When Parents Are Non-Muslim or Unjust
Islam encourages respect and kindness to parents even if they are non-Muslim. Allah commands Muslims to maintain ties with their parents, provided they do not encourage disobedience to Allah. The Qur’an says:
"But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness..." (Qur’an 31:15)
Even in situations where parents are unjust or unreasonable, Islam advises patience and continuous efforts to maintain a respectful relationship.
Respecting and honoring parents is a cornerstone of Islamic ethics. It is not merely an obligation but a path to the pleasure of Allah, a way to gain His mercy, and a means of fostering strong family bonds. The reverence for parents in Islam extends throughout their lives and even after their passing, with du’as and good deeds done in their name. By embodying the principles of kindness, patience, and humility toward parents, Muslims fulfill an essential part of their faith while enriching their lives with Allah’s blessings.
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