Friday 19 May 2023

To sisters who have recently been divorced..........


To sisters who have recently been divorced/gotten a khula just wanted to share a reminder that the majority of the wives of the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ save Aisha رضي الله عنه were PREVIOUSLY DIVORCED/WIDOWED.

Zaynab bint Khuzayma
Safiyya bint Huyayy
Zaynab bint Jahsh
Umm Habiba
Juwayriya bint al-Harith
(May Allah have mercy on them all)

Our society solely focuses on the act of marriage. Yes, Marriage is ibadah but DIVORCE WITH IHSAAN IS ALSO IBADAH.
If you got married but later found out that your marriage or your spouse produced fitnah, produced abuse and produced sins, then you are better off without each other.
You did what was right for you, for your children and for your eeman all within shariah and obedience to Allah.
Please don't expect the society or community or even loved ones to understand the decision you made through pain, through struggle, through sleepless nights and tears of blood. Please don't let others, their opinions and assumptions rob you of your peace of mind and healing.
My dear sister please don't be naive, people are going to talk about you and conclude their own stories about your divorce and why your marriage failed. People talk. Your job is NOT to correct their gossip or offer explanations.

You will lose friends.
You will lose family.
But Allah will replace with better people and better opportunities always.
❝And surely what comes after is better for you than that which has gone before.❞
{Surah Ad Duha 93: Verse 4}
Your focus should be on co-parenting in healthy way.
Your focus should be helping your children unlearn the unhealthy example of marriage they saw.
Your focus should be on building the new.
This is your new life. Accept it and move forward in faith and tawakkul. Divorce is not the end of the world, it's just a page in your book on your journey of life.
🤲 May Allah make things easy for you all, grant you healing and bless you with the best always - Allahumma ameen. 

Make divorce an option after exploring other alternatives fully:
1. Counselling/Therapy
2. Temporary Separation
3.  Prayers and learning what marriage is Islamically.
4. If possible a second chance and time frame to change behaviours, addictions and harmful patterns.
5. Counsel with wise people without any bias towards either of you.

From Ideal Muslimah

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