A tale of divorce

 

I found this quite an eye opener:

How did we get here? I genuinely don't know whether or not to laugh or cry or fume with anger. This is another divorce case I am helping with right now. The wife came from abroad, lives in a tiny London flat, has no family here, struggles to speak English, completely financially dependent for the past 20 years and looks after their disabled (adult) child.

Man: We will divorce according to Islam. I will maintain her for the waiting period. That is all.
Sheikh: Where did you read this?
Man: There is a fatwa website online. Proper scholars. I only share the truth. This is the Shariah.
Sheikh: And what should she do after the three months?
Man: I don't know. Get benefits.
Sheikh: And your son? The extra care, hospital visits, appointments, you will not even leave her a car? London is an expensive city.
Man: I will pay for the boy. He gets benefits. I don't pay for her. This is the Shariah. I work hard.
Sheikh: And she doesn't work hard? You think, this is what Allah wants?
Man: I don't make the rules. Allah says:
وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌۭ لَّكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تُحِبُّوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَهُوَ شَرٌّۭ لَّكُمْ
 "Maybe you hate a thing, but it is good for you and maybe you love a thing, but it is bad for you" (Qur'an 2:216)
Sheikh: This verse is about people who do not like to fight, when they must.
Man: Yes, marriage is jihad.
(It is explained to him that the majority of the "classical" rules of divorce and settlement were written in the context of Muslim majority communities, where women had support structures and family that could take care of them and furthermore, there would be Zakat readily available to support someone who could not earn. In the absence of these, he must continue to support her and/or give her a financial settlement. Cherry picking fatwa online is not Islam. He refuses. Sheikh now getting ruffled.)
Man: If she goes to the courts, it is haram. She is stealing from me. Anyways, I will fight her and it will cost so much, she will be left with very little. I don't believe in this modern Islam. The deen is the deen. This is the Shariah.

Sheikh: Okay. You want to follow only classical Islam? Khalas. Show me this website, let me see which Mufti.
*Man pulls out website, a very popular Q&A website, with British 'scholars' giving many of the answers, including this one.*
Sheikh: Okay, great. Let me search something - *Sheikh looks through the website* Okay, perfect. Here. What about this?
Man: *He reads* Ermm.. Errrr.
Sheikh: Just to confirm, you did admit to having multiple affairs during the marriage after your wife caught you?
Man: I repented from this.
Sheikh: Okay, but we are we only want to follow classical Islam, right? Right. So what is the "classical Islamic" way to deal with your infidelity according to these same scholars and the same website you showed me?
Man: You know this. It is not possible to do here.
Sheikh: Okay, but maybe you can go to another country and they can fulfil the Shariah? You are a man of truth, right? Tell me, how much of your wealth with your wife get in this case?
Man: I don't understand.
Sheikh: If we follow the Shariah, according to this website, your punishment for your actions is to be killed. So when you die, your wealth will be split between your wife and your children, right?
Man: Yes, but...
Sheikh: You don't have any parents alive or other wives or children?
Man: No, but...
Sheikh: This is the Shariah, right?
Man: We don't live in Darul Islam.
Sheikh: You are correct, we live in Darul England. So, please make your mind up on which system you want to follow.
*sigh*
I find it fascinating that the website in question, for the adultery question now has this big disclaimer at the top:
"An Important Clarification - In light of recent attempts by some to sensationalise my views by taking them out of their intended context, I would like to categorically express that the answer below does not, in any way, call for stoning or capital punishment in non-Islamic states... the implementation of the law on adultery and fornication is only applicable under an Islamic State, and as such, this is merely an academic and theoretical discussion, since Britain is not an Islamic state... I do not of course endorse the implementation of this law in places where people choose not to have it."
Very funny that this disclaimer is not found on the divorce questions. Why aren't they "academic and theoretical discussions" when they are literally citing fiqh rulings from about 800 years ago that are being used to literally make Muslim women homeless today.
Marriage is hard. Divorce is messy. Using or rather, "abusing" Islam to line your pocket while leaving a woman vulnerable, not least the mother of your disabled child, is one of the most despicable things you can do.

Alhumdolillah, over the past year, we've been able to help a number of women in this exact or similar situation with cash/Zakat. If you can help, little or large, please reach out. At the very least, please like, comment and share to raise awareness on this oppression in our midst.